Friday, October 28, 2005

Happy Halloween!

Please note: Pic on bottom is NSFW- hehe.

Well I haven't posted on here in over a month. It has been a rough month what with the hurricane damage, finding out my daughter needs $3000 worth of dental work done, and worst of all, discovering that my dad has advanced colon cancer and there is nothing that can be done for him. He has been fighting cancer for 40 yrs, of one type or another, so it's not really a shock. But nothing has been showing up on his tests so we thought all was well....until he could not hold down any food for three days and was taken to the hospital. Even then, the doctors swore it was food that was blocking his intestines. Only after getting him on the operating table did they discover the many tumors in his intestines. There were so many and they were entangled in blood vessels so they could not remove them, and they said radiation would not help. He is at home now, and my sisters and I are taking turns watching him (I'm on Sunday's). Although the doctors said he would never eat solid food again, he has proved them wrong and is actually eating small amounts of solid food. He is also walking around with the aid of a walker. However, it is only a matter of time before the cancer will overtake him, and although it is an awful way to go at least we are prepared and can spend some quality time with him before the end.
Well, enough of that depressing talk. James, Lauren and I are going on the GHOST WALK TOUR of Beaufort this weekend. It should be interesting, and I pray that it doesn't rain. Hopefully I will have some photos of spectral orbs to post on here next week. *fingers crossed*. We will be visiting Blackbeard's house where several people were killed- blood stains there cannot be removed, they keep reappearing; and also a 300 year old cemetery.
I had a good week as far as wins go (sweepstakes are a hobby of mine, or obsession). I was notified Wednesday via UPS overnight letter that I won one of 75 grand prizes in the Scotch Brand Scholarship Sweeps, which is a check for $1000. YAY!!! Then yesterday, I received an email stating I was the grand prize winner in the Dollar Rent a Car 40 and Fabulous Sweepstakes. Ok, I was shaking and nearly passed out cause it said I won a 2006 Dodge Charger. But when I opened the attachment, it had someone else's name on it. Then I noticed another email from Dollar that said "Please disregard previous email, that was an error." Can you BELIEVE THAT???? I called up the girl and told her that was not fair giving me a heart attack like that!! Anyway, turns out I won 75,000 Delta Skymiles which is equivalent to 3 coach tickets worth $1500. So, I won around $2500 worth of prizes this week which makes October the best month I have had this year.

On with funny stuff I confiscated from another site:

A Funny Redneck Joke

From A Mother With Love

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.


Kids' Top 10 Little Instructions On Life

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Patrick, Age 11

When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.

Sara, Age 12

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.

Rocky, Age 9

Don't flush the toliet when your dad is in the shower.

Lamar, Age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.

Heather, Age 16

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

Michael, Age 14

Never try to baptize a cat.

Laura, Age 13

Never spit on a roller coaster.

Scott, Age 11

Stay away from prunes.

Randy, Age 9

Forget the cake, go for the icing.

Cynthia, Age 8

Last but not least, is that notorious fat-ass Buttons the kitty in a sexy pose for y'all.....oooh yeah- you can see his button HEHE