Sunday, November 28, 2004

That monkey stole my crispix!!

I dreamed I was in a petting zoo, and you had to swing on vines and climb trees to go to each different exhibit. They had cups of food you could get that looked like my favorite breakfast cereal. I had just climbed up to a higher level to see some marsupials when a monkey came running at me with this crazed look in his eyes, then James woke me up. I have been very lazy since Thanksgiving. Rita Bob and Jacob only stayed one day, which sucked! I had planned to go shopping in Jville but the weather was rainy and foggy Sat. night so we just went to a movie (National Treasure) and to the grocery store. The movie was pretty good, but we got there late and had to sit in the VERY FRONT ROW. Lots of foot room but extreme neck pain. I managed to buy some more xmas presents online at amazon, gap and victorias secret. I really only have a few more to buy which is good. I hate the holidays and I will be so glad when everything gets back to normal. I usually put my tree up by now but since we have 3 very playful kitties, we will have to put the tree up in Alex's room and that room is a MESS! Looks like I will have to pay Lauren to clean it up before I can even think about putting the tree in there. The only win I got this past week was a Blue Bunny t-shirt which James claimed after I told him what Blue Bunny was. (ice cream brand). We put the new computer I won from Family Dollar in the bedroom, and James got some speakers, a wireless card and a new leather chair to go with it. My washer and dryer are about to die on me, so if I could just win that Home Depot card, that would be just great. I really want a Neptune w/d set but they are SOOO expensive its UNREAL! Right now I am waiting for my king size pottery barn quilt to dry, its been in there 3 hours. Alex is watching a Kim Possible marathon and looks like she could pass out any minute. There are 400+ sweeps ending Tuesday so I guess I will get started on those. UGH.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Dude, I got a DELL!!

I received the computer and printer that I won today!! That is the fastest turnaround for a large prize that I have ever heard of!! I have already written Family Dollar a thank you note, they are fantastic sponsors. The UPS man said Smyrna was getting theirs today also, so I called the school office and told them to be expecting it. The printer is much nicer than the one I have at home, so I am claiming that. The computer itself will be great for Alex to play games on. I have been sick the past few days, stuffy nose, chest cold, coughing, aches pains, fun. James is also sick today, but it sounds like he has different symptoms so I don't know if he has something else. I just hope the kids don't get sick. I hate when that happens. My family is getting together at 5pm Thanksgiving day, (was hoping for lunch but oh well) and I am supposed to bring cheesecake. I think I can handle that. Bud said I had Friday off too. Geez a 4 day weekend, WOO HOOOOOO!! I have been wanting to go to Myrtle Beach so maybe we can do that this weekend....outlet mall, here I come! I just hope I feel better and quit sneezing all over everything. I wish I would win a years supply of paper towels, I have to go to the grocery store AGAIN. Lauren uses like a roll a day, she washes her hands like 15 times a day. sigh. I guess I can't punish her for being clean, but must an entire forest give their lives for it??

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Satan phoned and left a message

Well Jamie was not too happy about James and I getting back together. Apparently he went out drinking all night Friday night and called up here Saturday morning threatening us. He wanted to kill James, said I never loved him and wouldn't care if he died, and just basically tormented us for several hours. I hung up on him and he kept calling and leaving threatening messages. We called the cops after we heard him on the road outside the house squealing tires. They aren't much help, unless you have a restraining order. Lazy ass law enforcement. He called a few more times, leaving more messages and finally James picked up the phone. He threatened James and James said "how old are you, Jamie? I mean mentally? How old are you mentally? Cause you are acting like a baby" I was sitting on the bed laughing my ass off. Jamie said "I'm going to kick your ass" and James replied "I think I will take a rain check" LMAO to which Jamie got even more irate. I called his grandma and she, his mom and sister went over there and calmed him down. What an IDIOT!!
We watched some movies I had rented from Netflix: Stepford Wives (this movie is GAY) and The Ladykillers (too long and even GAYER). For some reason Alex sat and watched The Stepford Wives the whole way through, I have no idea why she was interested in that LOL.
Me, James and Lauren went out last night to see Bridget Jones. I had heard the reviews weren't that great, so I went in there with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. It was very funny, and we all enjoyed it. I can really relate to poor ol Bridget. Afterwards we picked up some fast food (Taco Bell, McDonalds), went to Lowe's foods for a few things, and then came home and had a fun night (sorry can't give any details, this is PG rated) My throat has been hurting really bad, I think I have a little bit of a chest cold, but otherwise I feel pretty good. I could use a nap though!

Friday, November 19, 2004

A new beginning...

James and I are back together again, giving it one more try (for the what is it now, 5th time?). I have said some pretty harsh things on here about him (which I have now deleted along with all hostile remarks) and I just found out that his family read them. Well I want to apologize. I really care about his family,and I really didn't mean most of the things I said about James, I was hurt, angry and alone and thought that he had moved on seemingly effortlessly. He had said to me "the whole point of breaking up is for you to leave me the hell alone". Surely anyone would have been mad as hell! I hope they understand that I am really not a nasty person. But I do get fierce when I've been wronged. James is going to try his best to resolve his communication issues, and I am going to stop being a vengeful bitch. Just kidding, I am going to work on SELF ESTEEM issues, which are currently at an all time low, practically non-existent to be honest. I know that he really loves me a great deal, and I really hope that it will last more than 6 months this time (sigh) although the making up part is quite fun. Margaret and Randall can now breathe a sigh of relief, they sure have been put to the friendship test the last 2 yrs.
Boots is feeling better, Mojo is laid back as usual and Moonpie is looking for something to eat. Lauren is glued to her computer, I think I saw a cobweb between her hand and the mouse. Alex has been SPASTIC today, I had to keep her at the office because Laraine went to Temple (some kind of Mormon thing). She marked on the walls, spilled ice cream all over the desk, and since we got home, she has been acting as though she was possessed by some demonic beast hellbent on destroying my will to live. She has calmed down for the moment and the reddish glow in her eyes has died down. I cannot wait to take a hot bubble bath, get her to SLEEP, and get some MASSIVE loving. Yes its cuddling time tonight. James said he wanted to go see Bridget Jones with me in Havelock tomorrow night, I'm not sure if Lauren wants to go, she's still angry with him but assuming he's going to buy her a present, she might decide to endure his presence a few hours. Bribery is the key to a teenagers love. Or at least its the only way I can get her to move from the computer desk.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I am Woman, hear me snore.

Well I took the night off from the puter (gasp). Didnt do sweeps, didnt read any message boards, just chilled at the house. Me and Mojo cuddled for several hours, he is soooo sweet, I want to marry him. Too bad thats illegal. Then I watched the sci fi channel until Ghost Hunters went off (did you see that guy get body slammed by a ghost?? GEEZ) and passed out. Boots is sick again, I called the vet and they gave me some more medicine, and I had to take both Boots and Moonpie in today for shots and they are going to check Boots again.
I got a pink rose from James yesterday, with the rather generic message "thinking of you". Well, that's nice but I was hoping for something scrawled in his blood like "Julie you are the sun and air, I am in a dark void without you beside me. I can't sleep, think or properly digest foods, please take me back".
I do love James and I hope he is doing ok. The birthday party is tonight, wish me luck. :P

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Can I just FF to January Please

I am sooo not looking forward to the holidays. Ever since my mom died, each year has gotten progressively worse, and I really dread this year. Much as I hate to admit, I am missing James. I have been up and down, some days I am angry, some days I hate him, and some days I would give anything for him to come back. The last 2 days have been the latter, unfortunately. I missed him terribly last night and would have given anything for him to be there holding me. I havent felt very good the past few days, everything I eat makes me sick, I am totally dehydrated and my face is peeling, I look about 100 yrs old. I feel fat and unwanted and just wish I could be happy again. It hurt me that he seems to have moved on and doesnt miss me. I check my email every 5 minutes hoping to see one from him but it never comes, and I really don't know what I would say if it did. I have been hurt so many times. I just want a secure committed relationship where I dont have to worry constantly what he is thinking, cause he will TELL ME when something is wrong. Without communication, there is nothing. I'd love to have the knowledge that there will always be someone at the door to greet me and kiss me at the end of the day. My kids, friends and the numerous pets at my house ensure that I will never be alone but at the end of the day, when I get under the covers, I feel utterly alone. Why does love have to hurt so bad?
To top off my wonderful week, Alex has been acting so awful I thought I would have to call an exorcist. I took the kids out to eat last night just to get out of the house, and she was running around, screaming and even ran into the kitchen! Her aunt works there so its not quite as bad as it sounds , but still. I wanted to crawl under something. She has been having screaming fits about her hair, I'm tempted to shave her head.I have to wrap presents today for her birthday party Thursday night (her real bday is Friday but we decided to do the party Thurs). She is having a Minnie Mouse party this time.(At least its not Disney Princess again) I am sooo looking forward to that. (sigh) Jamie got her a barbie jeep and put it together last night, so I doubt Alex will ever want to come home with me again. Also I have to take Boots and Moonpie in to the vet Thursday for shots which ought to be fun.Life goes on no matter what shape you're in.

Monday, November 15, 2004


I am so happy, I got a letter today that I have won a new computer, monitor and printer in the Coca-Cola Family Dollar 2004 Computer Sweepstakes, and Lauren's school will also get the computer and printer!! Last week the Gamecube, and now this!! November is starting off great:)

Sunday, November 14, 2004

whoopadee doo

Im feeling better today! Lauren and I went out last night and had fun, we went to El Zarape for Mexican food, then we had planned to go see Bridget Jones, but seeing as I live in some backwoods redneck little ho-dunk town, it wasnt playing ANYWHERE! So Lauren forced me to sit through The Grudge again. UGH. To top it off, there were a bunch of teenagers sitting in front of us giggling through the whole movie. "you like oliver! tee hee hee" By the end of the movie, I knew each one of the kids names... SIGH. Then we went to Lowe's Foods (i love this place) everyone there is sooo friendly,and they have so much stuff!!I was walking along talking to Lauren for like 5 minutes before I realized I left her far behind in frozen foods. No wonder those two guys were looking at me like I was nuts, I probably looked as though I was talking to some invisible person on my shoulder: "lets get some vanilla ice cream!" On the way home we rode down Front Street, and we were describing the motions that Mojo makes with his paws, and I looked ahead and the guy in front of me was looking in his rear view mirror at us like we were nuts. I said, I bet he's wondering what we are doing! and we died laughing. I came home and pulled out my old journal that I wrote in when Jamie and I broke up, I hadnt touched it for 2 yrs and here I am in the same situation AGAIN! It helps me to write things down when I am going through this, so I can put them out of my head. Otherwise I keep thinking about every little thing and drive myself nuts! I started reading Bridget Jones Edge of Reason again, cause I couldnt really remember it, maybe eventually I will get to see the movieI have way too many pets. I was going to do some mail-ins today, I have been very slack.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

The Return of Boots

YAY! The kitty is feeling better today!! She's acting playful and running around and being very loving and sweet. (After a week of enduring a painful stomach virus that nearly destroyed my entire house) Its great to see her feeling better. I had a rough evening yesterday, James came to get his stuff, and I sat in my room crying. He didnt come in to see me, THANK GOD. He called before he came over and he sounded FINE, so I guess hes over me already! Geez that makes me feel wonderful. He said it was depression but from the sound of his voice hes doing great NOW.
I called Pizza Inn to place an order for delivery and when I told them the number, they said James' last name. I said, can you change that to my last name please?? The girl said, I can put your name in here but I cant remove the other name, so they will ask you each time. GRRRR Here I am trying to move on, and I just cant rid myself of traces of the past. I doubt I ever call there again. I cried and cried, and emailed James and told him that I couldnt be in contact with him anymore, it was just too difficult. I hope I can stick to it this time, usually I cant. Then I took an antidepressant and went to bed. Managed to get a good nights sleep with cuddly Alex, and Alex slept til 9 this morning!! I guess Lauren and I (and maybe Andrea) will be going out tonight to eat and to the movies to see Bridget Jones.

Friday, November 12, 2004

TGIF, I guess

Well I will say that I am not feeling quite as self-empowered today. I'm actually feeling pretty rotten and miserable, and I hate it. Seems like my life just keeps going in circles instead of forward, I feel like Sisyphus...and it SUCKS!! After enduring an extremely harsh comment from the now ex-bf yesterday, I have been feeling really low. I deleted the emails we have sent each other, so I would not keep reading and re-reading them and basically torturing myself, but these particular words keep reverberating in my brain. To add insult to injury, I picked up a copy of 'He's just not that into you' at Walmart last night and turned right to a section that could have been written by me. A girl wrote in and said that her bf became miserable and dumped her every 6 months, then he would come back and they would get back together. {This has been my life for the past 2 yrs.} The writer's response: "This guy you keep taking back is the same guy who told you he never wanted to see you again....he gets miserable and wants to go find someone better, when he doesnt or he gets lonely, he comes back to you." So I guess thats what my BF was feeling, which makes me feel just peachy keen. I have to accept the fact that obviously he wasn't that into me, otherwise he would never have let me go or taken any chances with losing me. Whatever, Im going to try to quit dwelling on it. I expect this weekend will be a fun-filled one, what with all the kleenex and cvs sleep-aid. (Although I am planning an outing Saturday night to the movies to see Bridget Jones, which hopefully will cheer me up lots, I just love her haha) Maybe tonight I will have Father Ted marathon, its practically impossible to be depressed during that show, and it helped me get through one of our prior breakups.
I got a win letter from DL Blair in the mail today, saying I won a gamecube system from the Wendy's sweep...that makes 4 wins this week, which should make me happy right?? I won a Office Depot backpack Monday, a Regis & Kelly mug on Tuesday and received a phone call from the History Channel (also on Tuesday) that I had won a computer game (3rd prize) in an online sweep. So I won 4 prizes, lost a BF, and one of my cats is sick and wont quit shitting all over my house. Aint Life Grand.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Happy Halloween!

Well this was an exciting weekend. NOT! My back hurt real bad Friday and then Saturday I was extremely depressed (PMS SUCKS!). I got Alex all dressed as Tinkerbell with fairy dust everywhere, and took lots of pics (see new pics in Kids folder, and also pics of the new cat tree in CAT TREE FOLDER). I put the cat tree together myself!! Anyway, Alex's dad came and got her to take her trick-or-treating, and Lauren went to stay with a friend in Morehead City. So I was all alone for a few hours, then James came over and was bummed out cause we had no kids but were still just hanging out at the house. In all fairness, I was freaking out because I got a nasty virus on my beloved laptop, and he had worked on it all day Saturday but finally I had to just take everything off and reinstall everything (waaaaa). I now know how to save all my emails, so if it happens again, I wont lose them like I did this time. I was not able to do my sweeps for three days. Finally got online and running Saturday night at 1030 and managed to do all the ones ending 10-31 at OLS (there were over 500, sigh). So we watched a couple of scary movies and he got drunk on screwdrivers and fell in the floor. A fun evening was had by all.
Today, I went to pick up Lauren cause she was not happy at her friends house. (Apparently the house was HOT, they had no FOOD and most importantly, no PEPSI and Lauren was about to die of withdrawals). I picked up Alex first, then Lauren, and we went to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch. Fried cheese appetizer, and cheeseburger (Alex of course had the chicken and fries--she never varies her menu) Then we went to Walmart, aka HELLMART where I got lots of food (Healthy Choice for lunch, special K red berries for breakfast) and the following meals for this week: Salmon, green beans and baked potatoes, taco salad, tuna helper, sloppy joes. Woo hoo thats four nights I have all planned out, which is like a record for me. Alex picked out some princess gloves even though it is like 85 degrees and humid, and Lauren got a coat and shirt and a MOOD RING, along with shampoo that cost $6. I got myself some new bath bubbles that looked soothing, a couple of trashy celeb mags, and some cool nail polish. Can you predict my evening? Oh yeah, forgot to mention I got some wins!! I won another Outback GC $45 from a local radio station, and I got a letter from National Examiner that I won the pink jelly status purse, worth $68, from a mail in (I sent in 3 postcards). So all in all, I did pretty good this week. I'm going to do my dailies, download some new music for the ipod and go take a nice bubble bath with my trashy mags. Tomorrow is the big day (drum roll) when I pick the winner of my sweepstakes!! I am excited!