Monday, September 10, 2007


1. Why is it that no matter what position she goes to sleep in, when I wake up in the morning, Alex is perpendicular to me, with her toenails digging into my back.
2. Why does my teenage daughter suddenly have a British accent when she is talking to her boyfriend on the phone?
3. Why do my animals enjoy relieving themselves in the floor next to my bedroom door???
4. Why does the application of freshly washed sheets on my bed suddenly spark an onslaught of beverage/food related accidents?
5. There is no 5, I just wanted to mention that I really want one of these Tassimo machines:

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Sunday, September 09, 2007

75 random questions

This was something my daughter sent me on myspace that I answered and posted...thought it was kinda funny

75 Random question survey. omigod!

Do you have any pets?
yep like 15...dogs, cats, hamster, fishes, lauren wants to add a bunny when one croaks...

What color shirt are you wearing?

Name three things that are physically close to you:
cup of coffee, orange juice, an inflatable man

What is the last book you read?
Revenge for Dummies

Are you or were you a good student?
yeh i wuz preaty gewd wiff subjix in skool

What's your favorite sport?
kitten juggling of course...its fun and oh so dangerous!

Do you enjoy sleeping late?
who the hell doesn't? you moron! DUH

What's the weather like right now?
hot and steamy like those books elaine reads

Who tells the best jokes?
Jim Gaffigan....or me.

What was the last thing you dreamed about?
I dreamed I was being devoured by stuffed animals on my bed...oh wait that really happened. nvm.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
yes, my defense, I like totally paused!

Do you believe in karma?
I sure hope so...I know a few people who should be slugs in their next lives.

Do you believe in luck?
Yes, Beth is DAMN LUCKY geez shes won something else today! Save something for someone else already!

Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
sunny side, or an omelet, or eggs benedict....yeah i like to eat.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?
coins, dumb ex bfs

Are you proud of yourself?
YES right now for the first time in AGES!!

Are you reliable?
yes unless we're talking punctuality, in that case... eh no.

Have you ever given money to a bum?
yes all my ex's

What's your favorite food?
man, this is TOUGH cause I love food obviously. Hmmm...I would have to say a baked potato loaded with sour cream and butter...cause I can't have one! lol

Have you ever had a secret admirer?
yes, boy was that disappointing when I found out who he was. :(

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
NO gross...are there any gasoline sniffers on here??

Do like to draw?
yes but only on bathroom stalls....

What's your favorite invention?
the Q-tip....aaahhhhhh

Is your room messy?
No! YAY!!! (it won't last long believe me)

What do you like better: oranges or apples?
apples....although those little mandarin oranges are fuckin awesome!

Do you give in easily?
I don't give in easily. I'm very stubborn and hard-headed. Is that bad or good?

Are you a good guesser?
Yes I can guess your sexual orientation by shaking your hand.

Can you read other people's expressions?
Yes, thats easy. if the corners of their mouth are up, they're happy. if they're down, they're not..and if their mouth is in an "o" they're either havin a real good time, or they're really scared. Or both.

Are you a bully?
NO I try to push my kids around but they seem to totally ignore me.

Do you have a job?
Yes I am a pet therapist/hamster hypnotist, sarcastic puppeteer and a kitten juggler. It all ties together nicely doesn't it?

What time did you wake up this morning?
11:30 to let Mr MoJo the whiny cat out

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Nutrisystem blueberry pancakes with sugar free syrup, 2 veggie sausages, oj and coffee. *sad face*

When was the last time you showered?
On the cruise in that plastic vertical coffin they called a shower. I take bubble baths.

What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
going to work....*waaaa*

What's your favorite day of the week and why?
Sunday because its a day of peace and quiet...except for that damn cat

Do you have any nicknames?
jules, buttmuffin, almighty goddess

Have you ever been scuba diving?
No I haven't... its on my to-do list along with "overcoming fear of water" and "breathing through my mouth"

What's your least favorite color?
greenish brown like hen turd....gross! which is also the color of my eyes. :(

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
not brain's light and fluffy now, no more drama

Would you ever go skydiving?
no thanks I would only do that if the plane was on fire

What toothpaste do you use?
its lemon flavored...thats all I know at the moment

Do you enjoy challenges?
yes...I'm always challenging myself, especially when it comes to exercise...there's a little voice in me going, "YOU CAN DO IT! YOU FAT ASS!"

What's the worst injury you have had?
well I broke an ankle, but it wasn't painful. Most pain I was in was a tie between mono and giving birth to Alex.

What's the last movie you saw?
Pan's Labyrinth. it bummed me out so Lauren and I watched Friends afterwards

What do you want to know about the future?
I want to know when that asshole is going to die, so I can be there to watch

What does your last text message say?
"Me too! It was AWFUL!"

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
Laraine (Alex's great grandma)

What's your favorite school subject?
Sex Ed....with the textbook "What's that in my Pants, Mommy?"

What's your least favorite school subject?
History. OMG so boring...I think the teacher had something to do with it.

Would you rather have money or love?
Damn, can't I have both? I would have to know that the love thing is gonna be great and last....cause otherwise show me the money.

What is your dream vacation?
Italy. for a month with a real hot guy who adores and worships me

What is your favorite animal?
Buttons. or Rico.

Do you miss anyone right now?
My parents and the bod I had 10 yrs ago. *sad face*

What's the last sporting event you watched?
Buttons and Mojo fighting. it was hilarious.

Do you need to do laundry?
no, I just throw everything away when it gets soiled.

Do you listen to the radio?
bob and sheri in the mornings on the way to work

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
at work, my sister called and told me

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
cuss that mutha out, then go home and write anonymous hate mail to pepsi

Have you ever caught a butterfly?
no, butterflies are free to fly, fly away, high away....bye byeee.

What color are your bed sheets?
white with brown polka dots.... oh nvm those are stains.

What's your ringtone?
Do you like pina coladas? and gettin caught in the rain?

Who was the last person to make you laugh? this video...its hilarious.

Do you have any obsessions right now?
yes but I cannot reveal them it would spoil all my plans....mwa ha ha ha

Do you like things that glow in the dark?
yes it makes it easier to find small objects in the dark

What's your favorite fruity scent?
green apple

Do you watch cartoons?
south park

Have you ever sat on a roof?
No I wouldn't do that to my roof!

Have you ever been to a different country?

Name three things in the world you dislike:
Pedophiles, liars/cheaters, and celery

Name three people in the world you dislike:
Ex-bf, Donald Trump, and that guy in those erectile dysfunction commercials...anyone that freakin happy needs to be SHOT

Has a rumor even been spread about you? was so wrong! I did NOT get highlights on my pubic hair...they were lowlights.

Do you like sushi?
if done properly

Do you believe in magic? quit wastin your time, Gail...I can have plenty of bad luck on my own, without your evil spells!

Do you hold grudges?
No I just pet them.

world's prettiest credit card

Click on it to enlarge the pic to see how sparkly it is. oooooh aaaahhhh

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

life doesn't always suck, honest

You know you need to lighten things up when flocks of people are googling "life sucks" and arriving at your blog. Chin up, googlers...things will get better I swear.

Monday, September 03, 2007

this reminds me of that motel we stayed in at Cocoa Beach

Yeah I rented Vacancy from Netflix. Partly because my niece told me the preview scared the crap out of her, and partly because it has
Luke Wilson in it. I have a little thing for him. And I have watched some bad movies in my time, just cause they had him in it (My Super Ex Girlfriend anyone?). This movie, however was not one of them. I am so glad I didn't see it at the movies because I would probably have jumped off my seat. From the opening credits you get the impression that it is an ode to low budget thriller movies in the vein of Alfred Hitchcock.
It is nerve-wracking and terrifying, and it did so without the gore that I REALLLLY do not care for. You get a real bad feeling about this place, especially when you see the creepy lil dude with the bouffant 'do who
offers them the 'honeymoon suite" for no extra charge. The tunnel scenes were especially nail-biting and claustrophobic. *Shivers*
It's not an academy award winner by a long shot, and we barely get to know the couple and what they're dealing with in their relationship, but as far as cheap thrills go, it rules. It's also not very long which is always a plus in my opinion.

In closing, here's another Luke Wilson pic, just cause I want to.