Friday, March 30, 2007

mr froggie says Sanjaya must DIE

Ok I do not watch reality shows. At all. I hate them. With a PASSION. (Ok except for the Surreal Life, when it had Vern Troyer on there drunk pissing in the floor, now THAT, my friend, was entertainment). I especially hate American Idol as it usually runs over and interferes with my DVR taping of Dr House. Imagine waiting to see the latest episode and then getting nearly to the conclusion only to find that the DVR has stopped taping because it was supposed to end at 10 but instead ended at 10:07 or some shit. After watching Dr House nearly kill the patient several times with incorrect diagnoses, I might miss the "AH HA!" moment when he realizes some far-fetched correlation between a sandwich and an intestinal parasite...all due to some reality show that I don't watch. GRRRRR. And even though I don't watch American Idol, all I hear on the radio is Sanjaya this and Sanjaya that, and parody songs about how much everyone hates SANJAYA. THE HELL WITH SANJAYA I AM SICK OF HEARING HIS NAME!!!! Just to catch a glimpse at this source of hatred amongst the population, I googled him and came up with this pic:
WTF??? Is this Something About Mary redeux? This guy needs to go away, and SOON.
Also since I am bitchy and ranting today, I want to rant about CROCS.
In case you live under a rock and don't know wtf I'm talking bout, here ya go:
Apparently these shoes are all the rage. WTF?? They look to be made of plastic, in nauseatingly vivid colors. Ok, they may look cute on a 2 yr old, who has no choice in buying her own footwear, but no self-respecting adult should be caught dead in these things. They are the UGLIEST shoes I have ever seen. I thought jellies were bad back in the 80's but damn, I would rather see Jellies come back in fashion than these atrocities.
Ok, I'm done bitching now. Have a nice weekend :P

Thursday, March 29, 2007

oui I am soooo sexeeeeee *french accent*

For I am Les Boutons (The Buttons) and I am in ze basket!!!

click me to take closer look at my sexinesssss.....go on you know you want it

Friday, March 23, 2007

a few of my favorite things

vive pro nutri gloss conditoner
L'oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss Conditioner for medium/long hair that's damaged. I have coarse, thick, naturally red hair that I color to hide the grey. This is the BEST CONDITIONER ever. It actually makes my hair sleek, shiny and STRAIGHTER. It RULES.

bathed and infused body mist
Bathed and Infused Body Mist- they have 10 gazillion scents on their website to choose from. I love Clean Laundry and Gain. I spritz them on my sheets before I go to bed and I am in heaven, a clean fresh out of the dryer heaven.

basis cleaner clean face wash
Basis Cleaner Clean Face Wash- this shit is the BOMB for people with oily skin who want to clean their faces and remove their makeup in one step and it smells good too.

avon clearskin astringent blckhd clearing formula
Avon Clearskin Purifying Astringent Blackhead Clearing Formula- the name is deterring. I personally steer away from items with the word Blackhead in them, but I have oily skin, and this stuff is GOOD and smells nice.

avon cherry lip balm
Avon Cherry Lip Balm- the best lip balm. Not greasy or sticky...I use it all the damn time. I wear it all day and all night!!

Downy Wrinkle Releaser- Best thing ever invented hands down. I hate ironing so bad...and I never have to do it again thanks to this stuff.

clarins hydra matte day lotion
Clarins Hydra-Matte Day Lotion- pricey but worth it for oily or comb. skin.

bbw antibacterial moisturizing hand soap
Bath & Body Works Antibacterial Moisturizing Hand Soap- this is the best hand soap EVER it does not dry out your hands and the fave at my house is Country Apple. I buy it in bulk quantities on eBay when I can find it.

keyano aromatics cranberry butter cream
Keyano Aromatics Cranberry Butter Cream- they used this on my feet at the day spa, along with the matching scrub. I have both at home and OMG this stuff smells soooo good and it makes your feet feel like a baby butt.

good home beach days dish soap
Good Home Company Beach Days Dish Soap- Smells like a day at the beach. Makes me actually want to do dishes. Kinda pricey but hey if it can make you like doing dishes, its worth it.

oldnavy flip flops in metallic silver
Old Navy Flip Flops- Metallic Silver- these are comfy and cheap as shit. On sale now for $3.50 or $2.50 if you buy 2 or more. I recently bought 6 pairs. (in different colors of course, silver is my fave)

LUSH Mask of Magnaminty
LUSH Mask of Magnaminty- my fave LUSH product, this is the best face mask for oily skin EVER. My skin looked soo good after using this stuff. It smells all minty clean too.

yankee candle electric fragrancer
Yankee Candle Electric Fragrance Diffuser- I have one at work and one at home, and I typically use the Clean Cotton scented refill. It makes the room smell so freaking good.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

eye candy for Dawn!

I am bummed out today thanks to my accountant. I don't feel like getting into it but let's just say that I shouldn't have sold that rental house and spent all the money. Freaking greedy IRS bastards!!! To cheer myself up I have uploaded some hunky shots of Ryan Reynolds. Enjoy.

Lets keep on praying that these shorts will fall any second...

Everything looks better in black and white.

small ryan reynolds blade

There is just something about a sexy man holding a gun...oh my

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Here is some Lush porn

my Lush

Yes I have a problem. I was reading That Bitchy Chick talk of her retail therapy involving Bath & Body Works (which was my previous addiction) and thought I would share my current obsession. Lush. Its expensive. It comes from Canada. It takes 2 weeks to arrive by mail. Its made by hippies. It smells GOOD. It's extremely addictive. I can't stop myself. I just ordered MORE stuff to add to this stash you see here. If you go to the lush forum and register you can see lots more lush porn and you will see I am not alone.
In other news, I went to a bad site *slaps hand* and got a Trojan backdoor in my desktop. AVG said it was healed and put it in the vault, where I later deleted it. I went in safe mode, ran Ccleaner and Adaware, then tried to run AVG virus scan. Midway through I got the BSOD (blue screen of death). Tried to boot back into safe mood, but alas I can't even do that now. :(
Luckily I have a laptop at home, and a computer at work, but I miss my desktop!! *tears* Hopefully it can be repaired. Pray for it please. I just bought it 6 mos ago. waaaaaa

Monday, March 19, 2007

Ok who is the Chicken Sniffer

I get a kick out of the searches that lead to my site.
"Chicken sniffer"?- someone from Morocco was googling that one.
"Lubricating a rubiks cube with baby oil"- Do I even want to know what this is about??
And the most disturbing one of all, someone looking for "Tyne Daly nude". How scary is that? Of all people to be searching for naked, she would be like the last one I would think of. And to satisfy your curiosity, no I do NOT have pics of her nude on my site. I hope to GOD they don't exist.
Not much went on this weekend, Alex's softball thingie was cancelled due to the wet field so I got to sleep in on Saturday, yay. However I woke up grumpy with a headache so I didn't get much accomplished. I did watch Bad Santa on Saturday night on Comedy Central. I forgot how much I loved that movie. Its soooo wrong yet so hilarious. That kid cracks me up, he is so freakin clueless. Kid: "I made you a wooden pickle" Bad Santa:"why did you paint it brown?" Kid: "Thats blood, I cut myself making it". lmaoooo.

"Can I make you some sandwiches?"

Monday, March 12, 2007

The stuff dreams are made of, whatever it is, Its weird.

Due to the fact that my cats decided to meow, growl and fight with each other RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM DOOR all night long, I was awakened frequently. Thus I remember what I was dreaming. First I dreamed that everyone in my family had dyed their hair a weird color and they were all standing in my bedroom. I was quite upset as Lauren's beautiful red hair was now platinum blonde with black tips, and Alex's gorgeous blonde curls were replaced with a shiny black bob that made her look Asian. I was like, "What is wrong with you guys what have you done???" Then I woke up. The other dream I remember was that I was back together with my ex-husband. Ha. Anyway he dropped me off at the gynecologist for an appointment and while I was in there he traded in my nice big comfy Honda Pilot SUV for a dirt bike. He came to pick me up and it was raining and he made me hop on the back of this bike to go home. Then he tells me that he only got $5000 for the Pilot at the dealership. Its only a few yrs old and I paid $30K for it. I was livid. Then he proceeds to tell me not to worry cause he is going to make a fortune picking up women at the dr office on his dirt bike and taking them on errands. He said he already picked up one lady who had an STD and gave her a ride home. I said, "GREAT I am sitting where she was sitting! Now I will have some venereal disease you bastard!" I woke up soooo mad. Then I went back to sleep and yet kept dreaming that my Pilot was STILL gone and I was trying to negotiate something with the dealer to get her back. He had slapped a sticker on her for $25,000. It was so stressful. When I finally woke up for good and left the house this morning, I hugged my Pilot fondly. I love my Pilot. LOL.
In other news I went shopping Fri evening and bought more crab legs. I said, "heck I will buy 4 lbs this time, cause we were still hungry last time". Well by the time Lauren and I got to the last few crab leg clusters, we were so sick. Between us we ate all those crab legs PLUS one stick of butter each to dip them in. I said, "Lauren do you realize that we each ate a stick of butter??" UGH I felt so sick. Lauren went and laid down and I just sat on my bed and groaned for a few hours. No matter how good something is, or how much it costs, sometimes it just ain't worth it to finish it off.

Friday, March 09, 2007

GWB's campaign promoting illiteracy


Soon to be followed by several mudslinging campaigns from the Zoolander School For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Want To Do Other Things Good Too.
Eventually GWB will realize the true meaning of the word illiteracy and blame everything on someone else.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

jules looks likes an utter twat so give her a slap!

Title-Google your name and 'looks like' and post your funniest one.

Did this myspace meme/bulletin yesterday and thought it somewhat amusing.

1. Would you get back with your last ex if you could?
Can I skip this one ...umm no comment.

2. What color shirt are you wearing?
Burgundy...haha reminds me of Ron Burgundy. I love Will Ferrell.

3. Would you kiss anyone on your myspace friends list?
maybe depends how drunk I was

4. How many people on your friends list have you ever had sex with?

5. How many people on your myspace top friends list do you know in real life?
9 and they are really weird.

6. How many kids do you want to have?
I have 2- anyone want them?

7. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
They are deceased, so yes.

8. What name would you want besides the one you have?
Sophia and I would be dark and tan and exotic and THIN

9. Would you ever make out with someone of the same sex?
depends on what they looked like and how drunk I was.

10. What did you do for your last birthday?
I blindfolded myself and tried to hit a pinata but ended up breaking all my light fixtures.

11. What's your main ringtone on your phone?
Freak Out

12. What time did you wake up today?

13. What were you doing two nights ago?
You can't expect me to remember something like that.

14. Do you like having your hair pulled?
woof woof- hint hint

15. Name something you can't wait to do?
get that tattoo of Cartman on my ass

16. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
My perfect grammar and spelling. Its so intimidating.

17. If you had $250,000, what would you do with it?
I would get a hybrid car, build my deck, and invest the rest in tax free bonds...and buy Jimmy some hair plugs.

18. how long have you worked at your current job?
too long. The chair has a permanent imprint of my ass

19. Somewhere, someone is thinking...lets have guacamole!

20. What's the last piece of clothing someone borrowed from you?
Jimmy borrowed my red satin pumps. Give those back!

21. Who is getting on your nerves right now?

22. Most visited webpage?
myspace, online-sweepstakes,downloadingpornwithdavo

23. Last person you text messaged?
James. It says "baked potato"

24. Last person to make you sad?
my imaginary friend Fred said he was leaving if I didn't shape up.

25. Would you take a bullet for your best friend?
Sure would.... well maybe a bb or a staple at least

26. Favorite kind of drink?
the wet kind

27. Favorite food?

28. Favorite dessert?
a hot guy covered in chocolate sauce

29. Have you been to Europe?
Yes well England anyway

30. If someone you hated died, what would you do?
I wouldn't leave town, cause that would look suspicious.

31. Love is:
like fruit. It is wonderful when ripe but then it rots and it tastes like crap.

32. Tomorrow it will be...
Tuesday. wow.

33. I will always:
remember to not forget you know what.

34. I get annoyed at:
everybody, who am I kiddin

35. Parties:
are great as long as they are the kind where they arent selling stuff

36. Today I:
put on underwear. yay.

37. My cell phone...
has a hello kitty plate on it

Monday, March 05, 2007

I'm full of shitz and giggles

NOT. Well I tried the lexapro for a total of 3 days. By the third day, I hadn't slept any of the previous nights, what with the constant leg movement and twitching and even though I was severely tired my mind was racing. Then came the worst part: Dizziness and nausea. I felt like I had way too much to drink and the room was spinning and I could spew at any moment. This went on all night Wed and all day Thursday. I almost called in sick on Thurs I felt so bad. Looked it up online and I had all the side effects listed, except for sweating. Also found a forum online where I discovered in most women, it causes weight gain. Geez that is just what I need. Needless to say, I said the hell with this and quit taking it. I will just have to try meditation and exercise and holistic remedies for PMS cause I cannot take that crap.
In other news, my 15 yr old daughter got her permit on Friday. Let the fun begin. Thank God for xanax. We saw her school's musical rendition of Once Upon a Mattress, which she helped paint the sets for. It was quite good but way too long and at the beginning of the 2nd act Alex passed out on my lap and when she is asleep she weighs about 15 lbs more than usual. So I was squirming and trying to get comfy with a passed out 6 yr old laying all over me. Saturday I took the kids to Walmart where I somehow managed to spend $370 (yikes!) on basic necessities and some food, and also to the salon where Lauren got all her hair chopped off. It looks cute on her. We cooked crab legs Sat night which were soooo yummy. Sunday I slept all day. Literally. I went to bed at 4am, slept til 1pm, got up for 2 hours and then laid back down at 3pm and slept til 730pm. I guess I needed the rest. Anyway I am back, I think the lexapro is finally out of my system, and I am off to read everyone's blogs and catch up.