Friday, August 14, 2009

The Duck Lies


RULES - Copy, paste, and fill out in your notes section (created on your profile page). Then, tag your friends, including me.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
a finger ;-)

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
Roger, he wanted to get out of the house today

How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?
It was a great album

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
No! I only kiss guys whos name starts with J

Where was your profile picture taken?
in a hut in Zimbabwe

Can you play guitar hero?
No I play Pan Flute Hero for Wii. Its not as popular but it makes my lips very strong and you'll thank me later

Name someone that made you laugh today?
some poor bastard who got pulled by the cops

How late did you stay up last night and why?
My minions bored me... 10pm

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I have a computer chair with wheels.. the world is my oyster

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Your eyes are like fireworks.. where the hell is my sandwich?

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Fred. He isn't real

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
When they are dead yes

Calling or texting?
I like when you are talking to someone on the phone and instant messaging them online simultaneously and they are saying one thing and typing what they are really thinking... its very illuminating

When was the last time you cried really hard?
Last time I weighed myself

Where are you right now?
Depends which part you are referring to...

What bed did you sleep in last night?
The one in my bedroom... its conveniently located in the center of it

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
someone left a bottle of wine and some lubricant outside my door. thanks!

Who took your profile picture?
Mufasa, my spiritual advisor. First he said it was against his spiritual beliefs to take photographs but then I gave him $5 and he said digital was ok

Was yesterday better than today?
Every day is better than the one before, and they will continue to get better and better, and then I'll die

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Not judging from my previous experience

Are you a bad influence?

Night out or night in?
Night in and out, in and out, in and out :-)

What items could you not go without during the day?
water, coffee, xanax, wine, blackberry, whip, handcuffs, potato

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
You are a fucking bitch!!
(its from Roger, I left him in the car)

How do you feel about your life right now?
Its feels so right how can it be wrong?

Do you hate anyone?

If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Death threats, sexual innuendo, indecent proposals, and thats just from the last 3 minutes

Can you easily tell if someone’s fake?
yes you just need a lighter

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
anyone who has seen the pics

Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?
Hey I believe in doing things right

Can you whistle?
yes just put your lips together and blow :-)

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
Spread eagle with my head hanging off the bed

When is the next time you will see the person you like?
I can see him right now, but he doesn't know it.. mwahahahahah.. ewwww he is scratching himself

What song is stuck in your head?
Get Low

Someone knocks on your window at 2am, who do you want it to be?
A righteous man ready for action

Who was the last person to tell you that they love you.
Bob Vila

Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
FUCK NO I don't want to tend to my own kids let alone their snot-nosed offspring :-)

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Drink wine and pleasure myself *burns the list*

Do you think too much or too little?

Do you smile a lot?
its more of an evil smirk

Who was your last missed call on your Mobilephone?
Bob Vila

What was the last book you read?
The sequel to He's Just Not that Into You.. its called "How to Get Him On Top of You"

What book are you currently reading?
Lets take a look at what is on my bedside table, shall we?
"Am I Telepathic or What?"
"Sandwiches for Deviant Lifestyles"
"I'm Seeing Double Which One is Real"

Is there something you always wear?
an expression of disbelief

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
plotting the deaths of my enemies, and having breakfast

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
I dont remember much of it, so probably yes

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes well I crawled out of one and jumped on someone from the 2nd story.. haha... damn those Kamikazes

Have you ever dyed your hair?
no I shave.. oh wait you talkin bout my head? yes

Are you wearing a necklace / Chain?
studded collar

Are you an emotional person?
Damn those PIXAR MOVIES!!

Can you handle the truth?
can you?

What's something that can always make you feel better?

Will this weekend be a good one?
it always is, as long as I get to be with myself

What do you want right now?

Are you mad about anything?
I'm mad about you baby

When was the last time you were disappointed and why?
when mr duck dropped his trousers

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
is it a margarita?

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my ex.. but you didnt hear that from me... I slid out the back just as he started coding

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
I had to change my license plate, not so much anymore :-)

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
No, I am way too curvy for that

Have you ever worked in a food place?
Yes and it was called THE FOOD PLACE. Spooky.

Where is your biological father right now?
Delivering dairy products

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
Due to all the death threats, I'd prefer to keep that to myself

Look behind you, what do you see?
I do not see a naked man who is happy to see me. Grrr

Can you live a day without TV?
I can live lots of days without that

Does anyone know your facebook password?
Fred and he promised he won't tell

Would you like some cake?
only if it has cocaine in it

Monday, August 03, 2009

I got this from Ric, along with a nasty rash

Fill out this fun The Only 17 Questions That Really Matter Survey and then share it with your friends.
DO IT! It only hurts a little.

Rightside up or upside down?
which side is the wrong side? I'm so long as I can tell where everything is, I dont care.

Satin or sandpaper?
satin sheets... and a scruffy mans face scratching my inner thighs.. ooooh yeah

Last thing you lost?
a bet with God. *shakes fist at heavens*

Last thing you found?
Jesus, he was down inside the sofa. Also, 75 cents.

If you had to name your thumbs, what would you name them?
Harold and Alberta

Are you ticklish? If so, which body part(s)?
I do not reveal my weaknesses.

What do you REALLY think about granny panties?
STFU, Jason!

Animal you most resemble?
a plump hedgehog with a bitchy attitude

Fast motion, slow motion or still?
I like my cars fast, my porn in slow mo and my water still

Speaking of hair, would you rather eat a pile of hair or a cup of skin flakes?
where did this hair come from?

Do you prefer standing in line or sitting in traffic?
There are lots of fun things you can do while sitting in traffic, and no one can see what you're doing ;-)

Cannibalize or be cannibalized?
can't we just eat each other simultaneously?

Would you prefer to wake up with a bed full of rabid sewer rats or tarantulas?
I pick tarantula as it seems unlikely they have cold wet noses

Would you rather have a constant ringing in your ear or uncontrollable facial twitches?
*raises eyebrow*
*rolls eyes*
*picks up phone*

Grass or asphalt?
hey no one rides for free, hand it over and hop in

Would you recommend this quiz to friends?
Yes, it was stimulating and satisfying... like myself.

Why are you still here? The quiz is over.
I'm struggling to get on with life. It seems meaningless and empty now.