Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Pirate's Wench Looks at 40

Congrats! You're now an old fart!
The messages display.
I get notices about burial plots
in my email every day.

But life begins at 40!
My friends they do implore.
You're full of shit I counter
as I mop dog piss off the floor.

Whoever coined that stupid phrase
was obviously off track,
they were taking too much prozac
or smoking lots of crack

Or getting laid three times a day
far from the life I lead.
Monotony and dreary days
and too many mouths to feed.

Its just a number! they declare,
well isn't that just sweet.
I'd never noticed that before.
a number, you say? How neat!

You're only as old as you feel, Jules!
they continue to plead their case.
Shove your self-help propoganda, friends
before I smack you in your face.

I asked my brother what he thought
and honestly he said,
"its all downhill from here my dear
and soon you will be dead."

So I guess I'll open this email
and see how much it'll be
to burn my lifeless body
and dispose of it properly.

And I'd better see a lawyer
and start making out my will
Not that there will be very much
after they pay my bills.

I've had sunny days of youthful joy
and laughter through the night.
but when I look into the mirror now,
I give myself a fright.

I'd like to thank you all so much
for being in my life
although it sucks big time, I'm old,
and I'm surely no ones wife.

I guess I might as well live it up
who knows how long I've got,
before my life is over
and my carcass starts to rot.

So Carpe diem! and Do it Now!
are the phrases for the day;
cause lifes a bitch, and it goes too quick
and thats all I have to say.



Currently reading :
The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead
By David Shields
Release date: By 05 February, 2008

Myspace Comments:
♥laurie♥

well! you DO have a life,
cause your NOT a tied down wife,
life does start at 40,
specially since meeting ME, jules, lordy!

your brother is wrong,
maybe HIS life is slack,
ya'll BOTH need to burn one,
and lay off the crack!

you're a hot lookin mama,
ya sexy ol' redhead,
forget being cremated
we'll hold a mirror in front of you instead.

cause you're hoootttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 8:55 PM
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♥buttmuffin♥

*adds Laurie to will*

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:03 PM
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♥laurie♥

so what do i get? huh, huh? lord, i hope it's not more BILLS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:13 PM
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♥buttmuffin♥

you'll have to wait and see

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:14 PM
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♥laurie♥

ha, ha, ha.....

(laughing at "inside" joke.......)

Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 10:42 PM
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♥buttmuffin♥

oh yeah. much better jill thanks ever so much. LMAO
*removes jill from will* :P

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 10:33 AM
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Caroline

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.” You are luved!

Posted by Caroline on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 11:34 AM
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♥buttmuffin♥

Awww. Thanks dear.

Note: I've had some emails that my poem is depressing and pessimistic. Obviously you can see that the last two stanzas are, in fact, about enjoying what little time I have left. So there.

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 11:37 AM
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Neale 777

Guilty as charged Jules, i did come out with every cliche in the book . Hey but your still breathing or you were when i wrote this. Any way the life expectancy is 80' ish in developed
countries so your only halfway to meeting your maker.....loads more fun to have
you just need a good man to show you that 40+ women are still attractive (i think they are nicer than than young ones).
so lets concentrate on the positives and ignore the negatives xxx

Posted by Neale 777 on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 12:57 PM
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♥buttmuffin♥

Amen, Brotha!
I'm taking applications now. Interested? ;)

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 1:04 PM
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andrea

Okay. I truly enjoyed the poem but I have a few questions. One did my dear uncle actually say that to you and two would you really want to be someone's wifey? I love you! You are beautiful and you will always stay young because you have always been young at heart.

Posted by andrea on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 12:03 AM
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♥buttmuffin♥

Yes he did!! HAHA.
and 2, my original verse went like this:

I'd like to thank you all so much
for being in my life
although it sucks big time, I'm old,
and I have this real big knife.

Honestly, it made no sense so I changed it.

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 12:20 AM
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andrea

Quit your moaning.

i am back Elaine

Posted by andrea on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 5:11 PM
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♥buttmuffin♥

Thanks sis you make me feel so loved and warm.

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 25, 2008 - Monday at 10:00 AM
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Another one

1.The phone rings; who do you want it to be?
John Krasinski asking me out.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
no I keep them forever

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
if I'm around people I know, just try and shut me up

4. Do you take compliments well?
NOOOOO everyone has ulterior motives

5. Do you play Sudoku?
No

6.Where do you go to school?
Become a Priest on the Net! University.

7. Do you like to ride horses?
No I'm scared of horses.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
no

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
digging holes in backyard.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
No believe it or not I have morals.

11.Do you have a job?
yes my job is to annoy people and do secretarial tasks bleh.

12.Whats your favorite color?
lavender

13.Whats your favorite food?
Mexican

14.Do you have any pets?
I have fairies in a jar

15. Do any songs make you cry?
Tears in Heaven

16. Are you continuing your education?
yes becoming a priest.

17.Do you drive?
Yes theres no other alternative where I live.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
my ass and make sure I had something on it

19. How often do you read books?
Never time lately...usually when I'm depressed I find time.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I can only think about the very minute I'm living in, otherwise my brain gets all fluffy

21. Do you smoke?
not cigs

22.Do you drink?
Not much

23.Coke or Pepsi?
Mountain dew

24.Hugs or kisses?
are you vaccinated?

25.McDonalds or Burger King?
McDs

26. Have you tried sushi?
Yes

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
No

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Last year.. but we'll be going tomorrow haha

29. When was the last time you were at Church?
Dad's funeral.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Budapest...via astral projection.

31.Night or day?
Night

32. Do you like mustard?
yes it has no calories!

33.Whos your best friend?
Mr Froggie

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both

35.How old is your best friend?
he is ageless

36. Do you talk often?
only when I'm alone

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The new Indiana Jones

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
Nooo

39.Where did you meet your best friend?
he was a gift.

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Well me and Lauren jumped a few times so yeah

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?
Yeah that Janis Ian chick. She ruled.

42. Do you own a camera phone?
yes

43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?
No I burn all that crap with the bodies

44.Why is your best friend your best friend?
Because he sits on my desk and never hurts my feelings.

45.When was the last time you talked to them?
Right now!

46.Whats your favorite hair color for the attracted sex?
Brown

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
I prefer 9

48. Do you like care bears?
No they are gay

49. What do you buy at the movies?
Lately, water.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
I can't remember

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Always cause the cops in this town have nothing better to do

52.Whats your favorite eye color for the attracted sex?
brown

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Blackbeard lived here

54.Do you like your men/women skinny or fat?
chubby and cuddly.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
hell no

56.Do you like your men/women cut or built?
no

57. Do you read myspace bulletins?
yeah

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
FUNNY!

59. Ever been to L.A.?
No desire.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
Not yet.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
I really should. That will be my mission for the week.

62.Do you like your men/women tall or short?
Taller than me

63. Do you hate chocolate?
WTF you is crazy.

64.Love or money?
Money

65.Whats your Boyfriend/Girlfriends name?
Invisible Man.

66.Whats your favorite color?
Lavender

67.Whats your favorite animal?
Koala Bear

68. Are you easy to get along with?
Usually except during PMS

69. What is your favorite time of day?
Night

70. Who were you with last saturday night?
Rita, Andrea, Lauren, Laurens friend Katelyn (not sure how to spell her name)

71. What woke you up this morning?
the smell of rotting flesh coming from the basement

72. Where are you?
Work

73. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
We shall see.

74.Who's your role model?
Laurie.

75.How many siblings do you have?
1 bro, 2 sis.

76. What were you doing at 10 last night?
Asleep

77. What is your favorite candy?
Chick a stick

78.How many people live in your house?
Three humans

79.How many pets do you have?
I lose track.. around 13 or so?

80. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
Food. I'm really hungry.

81.Where do you live? (trailer, mansion, apartment etc)
House

82.Who is your most valuable friends?
I've often wondered that myself, for ransom purposes

83.Which friend do you look up to the most?
Margaret. shes taller than me.

84.How many best friends do you have?
100011

85. What is the longest you have gone without checking your myspace?
a few days

86. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
Tea and Chocolate

87.How many friends have moved out of your city?
Most of them. They say its not because of me though.

88. What do you like to do in the car?
hehe do you wanna find out?

89.Coke or Sprite?
MOUNTAIN DEW

90. Do you listen to music every day?
YES

91.lunch or dinner?
Dinner

92. What was the last thing you ate?
Granola, orange juice, coffee, string cheese

92. Sister or brother?
Both

93.Boyfriend or friend?
I'm confused.

94.Pinch or poke?
QUIT POKIN ME

95.Clown or doll?
Doll.. clowns are scary

96.Where were you born?
Morehead City

97. What do you want to do right now?
finish my novel

98.When is your birthday?
Feb 19

99. Do you like summer break or Christmas break better?
Summer break

100. What was the last movie you watched?
No Reservations. It was the most predictable movie ever.

While I eat my toast...ala Jeanie

1. Whats in your underwear drawer?
everything but underwear

2. When was the last time you threw up?
a few days ago when I saw Gail's profile pic of her and James

3. What's your favorite curse word?
fuckity fuck

4. Name 4 people who made you laugh today?
No one yet, c'mon people!

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
eating breakfast

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
typing up something

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
P-I-C-N-I-C (boss asking me how to spell things)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
mint choc chip

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
tequila shot on way to work

12. What are you wearing right now?
black pants, grey sweater

13. What was the last thing you ate?
granola, orange juice, string cheese, coffee

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Yeah at Target

15. When was the last time you ran?
Sat night when the cops were chasing me..DAMN YOU JIMMY AND THAT RESTRAINING ORDER!

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
cat fight, my bedroom (boots won, naturally)

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Tea and Chocolate

19. Ever go camping?
when I was 6. The horror.

20. Do you have a tan?
Take a good look at my pics. What do you think?

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
No the bestest part is on top.

25. What did your last outgoing text message say?
Can you get out early tomorrow (to Lauren, she never responds)

26. Are you someone's best friend?
Mr Froggie.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working til 130 then taking Alex to dentist in Greenville

29. What other websites do you have up?
sexandsubmission, online-sweepstakes, sitemeter

30. What color is your watch?
don't wear one but if I did it would be rainbow colored.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
didn't we do this question yesterday? HOT GUYS.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yes. It scared me. I'm a wuss.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
don't eat fast food but drive thru for kids.

35. What is your favorite number?
19

36. Do you have a dog?
2

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
a client

38. Have you met anyone famous?
James Brown was on my flight to London in 1998.

39. Any plans today?
some work, goofing off, gym, grocery store.

41. Ever go to college?
briefly.

42. Where are you right now?
work.

43. Biggest problem in your life right now?
so many men, so little time.

44. Last song listened to?
Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken by Camera Obscura. Its a cute song check it out.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
stupidity.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Rocket dogs! Comfy and make me REAL TALL. :)

49. Are you jealous of anyone?
Anyone who is ecstatically happy and has no worries

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
yeah, RIGHT!

51. Do you love anyone?
Yes of course

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Most of them.

53. Do you eat healthy?
yes, but its unnatural.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
stalk jimmy, irritate Byron, skulk around men's rooms.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
anyone who mistreats my friends.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
No I have banned that word from my vocab.

57. Does the future scare you?
*looks in mirror* ...yes.

58. Why did your parents give you the name that you have?
My siblings named me. Yeah it could have been bad.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
Put hand through window that my dumbass husband had painted shut, while trying to open it.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Jeanie is bored... hence more fun w/surveys

1. When's the last time you held a baby?
My last two ex bf's had baby-sized penises. Does that count? If so, August 2007.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
No but if a man walked in here right now wearing a pair, his would.

3. What book are you reading right now?
How to make a Sandwich. By some fat chick.

4. Is your lipgloss poppin'?
Poppin? How did you guess? I buy LOVE-SHOCK LIPGLOSS in "High Voltage". When I kiss a man, the stun he receives is enough to render him senseless for several moments. That gives me plenty of time.

5. When is the last time you saw the person you like?
Last night in my dreams.

7. Can you dance?
Just enough to embarrass myself thoroughly.

8. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
I prefer 9 or 10.

9. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back?
OH HELL NO I wish God would take them back.

10. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would you do?
All my days are lazy days, but I'd do what I always do. Close the curtains, turn off the lights, and hide in my bathtub in the fetal position.

11. Who's the last person that texted you?
Andrea

12. Have you ever been on your school's track team?
They didn't have one back then.

13.Do you own a pair of converse?
I had a pair of pink high tops once

14.Do you have a gay/lesbian friend?
Yes they're tons o'fun

15. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
No I'm on a diet.

16. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
I prefer to punch it, wouldn't want to damage my pedicure.

17. Don't you hate when the radio fuzzes when good songs come on?
Who listens to radio anymore?

18. Do you watch Trading Spaces?
No

19. Are you competitive?
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Do you wanna arm wrestle about it?

20. Could you live without a computer?
No unfortunately I am connected to one and its controlling all my bodily functions. Without it, I would collapse into a coma and die.

21. Have you gone to school or are you a dropout?
I didn't finish college. I had the calling....to be a dumbass.

22. Is anyone on your bad side now?
No I'm alone

23. What jewelry are you wearing?
Heart ring, my new diamond necklace, and an inspirational band

24. What's the first thing you do when you get online?
See who's been to my page

25. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
Not lately

26. How do most people spell your name?
Sorry Jeanie I misspelled it earlier. Believe it or not , I've had someone spell my name JULY. moron.

27. Would you wear your boyfriends/girlfriends clothes?
Since he doesn't exist, sure. I can wear invisible clothes.

28. What are you doing tomorrow?
Burying the toenail clippings and some various other ingredients beneath the light of the full moon.

29. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
Depends who I married and how funny his last name was.

30. When is the last time you left your house?
I never leave the house, I'm attached to this computer remember?

31. Do you return your cart?
No I take them home and we have races in the backyard.

32. Do you have a dishwasher?
Yes

33. What noise do you hear?
My heart beating slowly and methodically. Its driving me batty.

34. Would you survive in prison?
Oh yeah and you'd be my BIYATCH! J/k don't hurt me.

35. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?
I'm so there. SHOTGUN!

36. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Nope I've heard of other buttmuffins, but I've never met one.

38. Whats the last thing you ate?
carrot sticks. blech.

39. what service do you have on your cell phone?
Alltel

40. Whats your favorite tv show?
Father Ted. and lately some of Little Britain. I've taken to walking around going "eh eh EH" just like Anne. Annoys the bejesus out of people.

41. Has any of your favorite shows been canceled?
Yes Father Ted cause Ted died. :(

42. What brand are your pants right now?
Fat Ass by Wide Load

43. What was your last beverage?
Tequila

45. Whats your favorite drink?
melted chocolate...sorry Jill has corrupted my fragile mind.

46. Do you like sushi?
Yes

48. Do you go online every day?
HELLO I'M HOOKED TO THIS MACHINE FOR LIFE SUPPORT

49. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
No I HATE kids. They're so dumb.

50. Do you know anyone that has changed your life?
All of you.

more questions

1. Whats on your mind?
The fact that whenever I tell a man I fancy him, he tries his best to become less attractive so that I will therefore leave him alone. Apparently I really AM hideous, and destined to become the crazy old cat lady. Perhaps I should embrace this fate and pay a visit to the pet shelter after work today and grab a few more cats. I mean, christ I only have 7 at the moment.

2. Where is your biological father right now?
Deceased.

3. Have you ever made out on a plane?
I tried but once again my advances were rebuffed. Hey there was turbulence and in a panic the stranger next to me grabbed my right thigh. What was I supposed to think? It was the most foreplay I'd had in years.

4. Which shoe do you put on first?
Whichever one is closest.

5. What is the status of you and the last person you hugged?
She's my kid and she's MENTAL!

6. Do you get distracted easily?
What was the question? Sorry I was looking at a guy on a moped.

7. What's the last text you received say?
Andrea was informing me that I'd arrive before her at the gym.

8. What does that last text say that you sent?
I was leaving Otway heading to the gym. HOw EXCITING!

9. Have you ever kissed anyone named Amanda?
No.

10. First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Since it was my daughter, the day she was born on 11/19/2000.

11. What was your childhood nickname?
RED. Yes weren't my schoolmates AWFULLY clever!

12. What would you change about your life right now?
There would be a hot man waiting in bed for me every evening. Ideally, a different one every night but whatever.

13. How do you feel about public displays of affection?
GET A FUCKING ROOM PEOPLE. All sorts of romantic gestures and touching between two people should be kept HIDDEN! Unless I am the one participating of course.

14. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Came up with the outline for my novel "that was my sandwich". Its almost finished.

15. Have you ever bitten your nails?
No

16. Do you live alone?
No two daughters and a multitude of animals.

17. Do you smoke?
Not cigs

18. Can you keep a secret?
Meh. Depends how exciting it is.

19. What was the best year of your life?
I haven't had it yet. I'll let you know.

20. Do you have any strange phobias?
Feathers.

21. Your favorite romantic movie is?
Sliding Doors.

22. Are you happy with your living arrangement?
NO

23. Have you ever played Twister?
I tried naked twister once at a party but I kept injuring other people with my ginormous breasts so they made me go sit on the couch.

25. Last thing received in the mail?
Toenail clippings in a brown envelope, from a PI I hired a few months ago. Its all part of one of my diabolical plots.

26. What color is your phone?
at the moment, green with flowers, very retro 70's

27. Do you like your cellphone or do you want a new one?
Its cool

28. Do you have trust issues?
Hahahahahaha. Yes.

30. Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
No but I like to rip wallpaper off walls. I hate WALLPAPER!

31. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
BUD

32. Do you like to cuddle?
For a little while, then leave me alone please.

33. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
Yes I always end up befriending my ex's gfs perhaps because we can share the horror stories.

34. What was the last advice someone gave you?
LIFE BEGINS NOW. What a load of crap.

35. What was going through your mind during your last conversation?
the price of bananas in Guatemala

36. Have you ever hurt anyone when you were mad?
Oh hell yes. I'm a scary bitch and don't you forget it!

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive. I have a mind like a steel trap..or was it a rusty hinge?

38. Do you give out second chances too easily?
In the past, obviously.

39. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
Honesty

40. Kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Depends who it is

41. Do you have a best friend?
Yes several.

42. Are you happy for your last love?
Yeah thrilled. What a bastard.

43. Do you trust people easily?
Not really.

44. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yes I wish he'd move in already

45. Ever had plans and broke them?
No my word is the law and shall not be broken. Unless I see a puppy

46. Do you think your last ex is a player?
Ha he'd like to think so, he's too fucking lame.

47. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to alot?
Yes but I wish we were more. *I've said too much*

48. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
A LOT fatter and more miserable.

49. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
Yes

50. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Mr Froggie

51. Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Yes I had to shave rosebud last night so what better way than to throw one leg up on the kitchen counter?

52. Is it awkward when you run into ex's?
Only if they struggle.

53. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes I still do just for fun.

54. Where did you last go?
to hell, I'm back now. They were having a weenie roast.

Monday, February 11, 2008

44

1. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
not the ones on my face

2. Does a kiss make you feel better?
depends who is doing it

3. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
no but I woke up on the ceiling once, that was fucking weird.

4. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
I like to experience the startling moment when the icy cold water hits my body...its exhilarating

5. What did you do today?
the usual. masturbated, ate breakfast, went to work, put all kinds of Jim Sturgess stuff on myspace, emailed people, in a few I'm going to the gym to workout, then I'll eat supper, take a bath and masturbate once more just for fun.

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
Yes, I also make salads in the shower..hey Kramer did it, so I figured WTH!

7. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
In my dreams. And they're all pirates.

8. Have you ever thought about your death?
Yes lots when the kids are stressing me out.

10. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
I'd like to have lots of permanent relationships simultaneously

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
men's nude mud wrestling. its one of those "Ugh OMG I can't look away" types of things.

12. What color is your shower curtain?
neon colors that pulsate in time with an mp3 player

13. Have you ever had stitches?
Yes haha *cooch* me 2 melissa..and my tongue and my eye from when I was little

14. How long ago did you hug someone?
I hugged Laurie Sat night...she's a sweetie

19. What are you doing tomorrow?
moving to Guam

21. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
Yes

22. Have you ever run over an animal?
Must you remind me of the night that Mr Bunny met his maker thanks to me??? THE HORROR!

23. Whats your favorite cereal?
Raspberry Granola by Galaxy Granola

24. Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter?
ewww yuck. no- I agree. I'll just take the peanut butter

25. What are you doing this moment?
fondling kittens whilst filling out this survey

26. Would you kiss someone of the same sex for 100 bucks?
heck yeah that would buy me a few items at lush.com!

27. Where’s your favorite place to be?
in my bedroom

28. What’s your favorite song?
at the moment, I've just seen a face by Jim Sturgess...oh the cuteness that is he!

29. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
coffee is a necessity for normal brain function, alcohol is a necessity for shaking my groove thang

30. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
No but its on my to-do list right up there with throwing frisbees on roofs

31. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Yes

32. Have you ever climbed up a water tower?
Yes I drew a big strawberry on it.

33. Do you dream in black and white?
only when I'm having those 60's flashbacks

35. Do you snore?
*Lauren, Don't say a WORD!*

36. Have you ever thought about being a model?
foot model, yes. see previously survey.

37. Are you a redneck?
MOI?

38. Funniest thing you heard all day?
Alex's silent cries of "HELP ME" when Jamie was kissing and hugging her goodbye

39. Have you ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
I live in Otway, I've been bitten everywhere.

40. What are you afraid of?
giant birds

43. Do you like someone?
perhaps.

44. Do they know you like them?
I think my constant stalking might be a giveaway.