Monday, July 06, 2009

Random Crap from the Muffin Lair

1. Where is your cell phone? In my underwear set to vibrate. Where else

2. Your significant other? Doesn't exist. This muffin is free... but not for sale. Try and tame me.

3. Your hair? I just asked and it said it wasn't fine, and was feeling a tad coarse today.

4. Your mother? Watches over me and shakes her head in dismay.

5. Your father? Same as above.

6. Your favorite food? Melted milk chocolate on a righteous man. Or Mexican food.

7. Your dream last night? I dreamed I was about 6 mos pregnant. I awoke in a cold sweat.

8. Your favorite drink? Water dripping off a righteous man who just stepped out of the shower. Or a margarita.

9. Your dream/goal? Getting everyone out of my house.

10. What room are you in? The hidden videocam/satellite room of the muffin lair. I can see you.

11. Your hobby? Collecting dryer lint and plotting world domination.

12. Your fear? Ass expansion

13. Where you want to be in 6 years? Alive

14. Where were you last night? In a ditch in Marshallberg, curled up in the fetal position

15. Something that you aren't? Thin

16. Muffins? There is only one.

17. Wish list item? I cannot reveal what is on the list. Those who glance at it must be terminated immediately.

18. Where you grew up? Whatway, Zimbabwe

19. Last thing you did? Pleasured myself and had a diet dr pepper

20. What are you wearing? A shirt, took my pants off because they angered me

21. Your TV? Which one?

22. Your pets? Take a few when you leave

23. Your friends? Are tasty

24. Your life? Ain't bad

25. Your mood? Well, I'm in a killy/maimy kinda mood today.

26. Missing someone? Officer, I lost control of my steering wheel.. I swear

27. Car? Honda

28. Something you're not wearing? An idiotic smile

29. Favorite store? LUSH

30. Favorite color? Your stupid questions irritate me.

33. Last time you laughed? When I saw what my ex is now driving

34. Last time you cried? When I saw the pics Rita uploaded this morning of my fat ass in a bathing suit

35. Who will resend this? I don't give a shit, go on, delete me!

36. One place you go to over and over? The enchanted forest with the righteous man and the unicorn and mass quantities of merlot and a big blanket. Its a happy place.

37. One person who emails you regularly? Clive Owen. I think he will lift the restraining order very soon.

38. Favorite place to eat? Off a righteous man

39. Last song you heard? Sex on Fire.. its been on repeat in my car for like a week now

40. What you believe in? Myself. If I can't do it, then fuck it.