le paradis de jules: August 2005

Michael Jackon's favorite bedtime story.
Click here for more, stolen from David @ Fishtowne Chatter

this is lame.

Above pic is Brian from Ghosthunters

Brian: "DUDE LOOK OUT!" (look of absolute horror on face)
*cut to commercial*
Meanwhile, audience is eager with anticipation of actually seeing something supernatural and horrifying on screen....
*return from commercial*
Brian: "Dude, look out, you nearly tripped on that board."
GDMFSOB!!!!!
And the flaming skulls have GOT TO GO, SCI FI CHANNEL!!! GRRRR
I do love Steve though, he cracks me up!!
The show airs at 8-10 eastern time Wednesday nights on Sci Fi.
And here is their website: TAPS

Song for the Day: Breathe Me- Sia (from the last few minutes of the very last episode ever of Six Feet Under)

I have watched the final episode of Six Feet Under twice and cried my eyes out both times. That image of Claire driving off into her future, when really she was lying on her deathbed remembering the entire thing, is haunting and SOOOO sad....although they could have done a little better on the aging makeup. If I look like that when I am old, shoot me. I mean, really I have seen a lot of ladies over 80 and they don't all have long, frizzy crazy hair. Just the ones who live in the woods. Funniest parts: Brenda dying from being bored to death by Billy; Billy's shirt: "What Would Jesus Bomb" and Ruth watching "Just Shoot Me" constantly while being depressed. Most Infuriating Part: When Margaret threw Maya's stuffed monkey on the floor. GRRRRR what a biyatch. Happiest Part: Seeing Maya many years later holding the monkey. :) Now I need to catch up cause I missed a lot of episodes from prior seasons, so I am starting with Season 1 on my netflix queue and working from there...

Whats New:
Well Lauren starts 8th grade this year, and the open house was last night. It was rather pointless, however. They did not give out her schedule or her locker # or anything. So basically we just went there to see what homeroom she was in. She has a couple of good friends in there so she's happy. Afterwards Lauren and I went out to eat and then out for ice cream. James has started his COP SCHOOL *sigh* so he is in class til nearly 11 Mon-Thurs and then all day Saturday. On Friday evenings he goes golfing *sigh again*. He actually woke me up last night to ask me to hand him the remote, so he could turn down the tv so I could sleep. WTF? Apparently it wasn't bothering me, DUH! I ended up not getting to sleep til 2 am between him talking and coughing....so I feel like CRAP today and my eyes hurt.

Fun Links:
Deformity can prove useful!
20 Questions from Virgin Airlines

Fun Stuff I Purloined Elsewhere:

The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an

invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into office and said, 'You graduated from University of

Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how

much would you take off?"

Her Reply: "Everything, but my earrings."

(You gotta' love those Texas Gals.)

=================================

A group of Texas A & M friends went deer hunting and paired off in

two's for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

under the weight of an 8-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the

trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to

steal Henry!"

================================

A University of Texas senior from Oklahoma was over heard saying,

"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be back in Oklahoma."

When asked why, he stated that everything happens there 20 years later

than in the rest of the civilized world.

===================================

The young Texan came running into the store and said to his buddy,

"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young Texan answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license

number."

================================

NEWS FLASH! -

Texas worst air disaster occurred when a small 2-seat Cessna 150

plane, piloted by 2 Texas A&M students, crashed into a College Station cemetery earlier today.

Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect

the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery

efforts.

====================================

A Texas State trooper pulled over a Oklahoma pickup on I-35.

The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout' whut?"

===================================

A Texan had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and

proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind

it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he

turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down, they tell you to put flares

in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it

either.

would you care for some shampagnia? don't run away!

The Continental for Prez? I LUV IT

Song for the Day: My Robot Friend -Performed by Butters

Link for the Day: STUFF+CAT its so stupid i had to post it.

News from the WWofJ:
I've been slack. Put me in a burlap sack and beat me with reeds. Shave my scrotum and make me wear a meat helmet. What has been going on with me, you ponder? Well let's see...I won a few small things the past month...dinnerware from Pfaltzgraff, $25 visa card, a toe ring, a cd, a dvd, a freaky painting of killer whales swimming in a post-apocalyptic world, a sex & the city trivia game, a necklace, and some perfume. We still have three kitties, and it looks like we're stuck with them. Pedro, Rico and Bob. Bob is not friendly, he is mean. Rico is friendly but he has a tendency to hide and then jump, attacking your legs. This can be quite painful and scary when you are not expecting it. Pedro is sweet, he hardly ever meows and he is very loving. In entertainment news, I watched the Billy & Brenda "Flowers in the Attic" scene in last week's episode of SixFeetUnder with a combination of disgust, disbelief and sexual arousal. Is it wrong of me to be excited? I was just envious of Brenda I guess. Billy, I will touch it. Screw Brenda.
I also had the great fortune of watching "A Very Long Engagement" the other night. This is a French movie with subtitles, that stars the absolutely charming Audrey Tatou. I want to be her in my next life. Or her pet. But I digress....the movie was great. If you liked Amelie, you will love it. It goes on my list of movies not to miss.
I had a very bizarre dream the other night, in it, Ellen DeGeneres was giving my father an enema. When I asked her why she was doing this, she said it was because he was full of crabmeat and they were making crab salad.( I have no idea. I did not take any drugs before I fell asleep.) After I objected to her extracting the crabmeat from my dad's ass, she sent me to TIME OUT and said I was to be given demerits for being impertinent.
And last but not least, I received an email stating "CONGRATS, YOU ARE A WHINER!" from the UK Lottery. I ask, who are they to judge me??? And yes, I do want some more tea, Mrs. Polly Prissypants.