I feel like crap

But before I go lie back down, I thought I should post something today so that damn poem isn't on the top of my blog. For those of you with partners, here is a handy guide to "that time of the month."

Hormone Hostage!

---

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!


DANGEROUS
SAFER
SAFEST
ULTRA SAFE


What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some chocolate.

Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown![
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some chocolate

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some chocolate.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
Here, have some chocolate.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some more chocolate.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3 Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Midsection

5 People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect