Life According to Cartman

Received part of my order today from spencersonline.com (remember I won that $100 certificate a few days back?) I wisely spent part of that moolah on this real cool glass. It has a selection of great Cartman quotes on the back, as follows:

• Screw you guys
• Holy Crap, You Guys!
• FOOD!! I HAVE TO HAVE FOOD!!
• Is this cool or not? I can't tell.
• Yes, the fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he spits.
• So we won't go to hell as long as we eat crackers?
• Oh, that's so immature.
• Oh, this guy is so gonna burn!
• So, who put his hoo hoo dilly in your cha-cha?
• Dude! You....You Don't just chop off someone's fireman!!
• Lucky for us my Mom is a total lush.
• I wasn't sleeping. I was just thinking really hard.
• Somebody's bakin' brownies.
• After I'm on television I'm gonna be totally famous.
• Cartoons kick ass.
• I love your salty, chocolate balls, Chef.
• Oh Kick ASS. I wanna have a bris.
• Now that's what I call a sticky situation.
• Lying kicks ass!
• I am so pissed off right now.
• Nobody is splicing nothing from Fluffy.
• They didn't do anything to my ass! It was just a dream!
• Ok, that does it. Screw this, I'm going home!
• Respect my authority!
• Get your ass to jail!
• I'm a bigger lesbian than you!
• Dude, weak, man!
• Stop calling me piggy!
• I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.
• I only know how to do it doggy-style.
• Yeah, Yeah, do you like to rock?!
• I am the toothfairy, my child.
• They are safely concealed in the depths of my ass.
• I suppose your ass smells like a spring morning.
• I want my Mommy!
• Kyle's Mom is a bitch.
• Kick Ass!
• SWEET.