it's not you. it's me. honestly.

take this daisy and shove it. this route is gay.

Curious to see what others felt about being handed this line, I went a-googling. I found poetry, interesting definitions, angry blog posts, a handy breakup letter in which you simply fill in the name of your bf/gf; and even a couple of people defending the line (cause they were the dumper not the dumpee, of course). I am posting a few here for our enjoyment.

Definitions:
link
Straight, gay or Bi we've all heard or heard of people who say things like:
What they say/What they mean

Its not you, its me/Its you
I just want to see other people/I've been cheating on you for months
I still want to see you, I just think we're getting too serious and should see other people/Gimme my cake, I wanna eat.
We don't need to use a condom/Shoot me. I'm stoopid.
We can just sleep together, we don't have to do anything/Wheheyhey
No, I've gotta go to this Stag Night, you know I'd rather be with you./Miss a night out dancing with 18-yr olds wearing G-strings and covered in whipped cream? Are you serious?
I know I was wrong. I'm sorry/What do I have to say that'll stop you being mad and let us have sex again?
I'll call you tomorrow/I'll call you in about 4 days..if you're lucky.
But my mum doesn't do it like that/I'm a soaking wet sap who shouldn't be allowed out by myself
No she's not prettier than you../Just gimme a minute I want a really good look
I would invite you but I know you wouldn't enjoy yourself/I don't want you there!
I love you/I love you or I like you a lot or I want to do the horizontal samba or most likely, I'm very very drunk
Sorry I haven't called I lost your number/Go away. I don't wanna know.
It didn't mean anything/But I'd probably do it again
Yes of course I'd love to meet your mother/oh ****
I'm separated/She's not in the room right now
Lets stop at my place and pick up (whatever)/Lets stop at my place and stay there
Size doesn't matter/Yeah Right!
Can I come in for coffee/Your condoms or mine?

some more definitions: link

Women say... /and they mean

Can't we just be friends?/There is no way in hell I am ever going on a date with you!
I just need some space/Just stay away from me.
Anything’s fine. What do you want to do?/I can't believe he has nothing planned!
Oh no, I'll pay for myself/I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch
Size doesn't count.../Yeah right!

Men say... /and they mean

Can't we just be friends?/I want to keep my options open.
It's only orange juice, try it.../3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head!
I really want to get to know you better./So we can do what I have told my friends we are already doing!
You're the only girl I've ever cared about./You're the only girl that hasn't rejected me.
I want you back.../...for tonight anyway
We've been through so much together!/If not for you, I never would've lost my virginity.
I Love you./I’m drunk.

the its not you its me breakup letter: link

Dear [their name],
By now, you must realize that I'm gone, and I am not coming back.Don't feel responsible-it's not you, it's me. My [busy career/expensive drug habit/intense racquetball schedule/fascination with on-line pornography] prevents me from committing to a serious relationship. Even though we're no longer together, we'll always have our memories. I'll never forget the time you [asked me to pull your finger/made me lie about my religion to your parents/brought home a bucket of KFC on my birthday]!
They say that time heals all wounds, and I hope that soon you will be able to [love again/like again/ speak my name without sobbing/speak coherently to another persons of the opposide gender]. When this time comes, I hope that we will be [good friends/fake phony superficial friends/in different states/as far apart as humanly possible].
Love Always/Love/Warm regards/Fondly/Adios,
[Your Name]

how to leave your girlfriend; link
(i edited this a bit, some were unfunny and some distasteful and there were some spelling errors)

1."it's not you, its me.. and my Tourettes Syndrome" (insert random sounds here)
2."You remember how we said we would always be honest... I'm using you to get a shot with ya sister"
3."Its not you its me... I hate you and I feel that will get in the way"
4."Theres something I should have told you when we first met - Under Megans Law I am legally obliged to inform you that..."
5."Want to look at my midget porn collection with me?"
6. "You know how I said if you ever ended up like your mother I was leaving you... well pack your bags"
7."Hunny where did you get the dress from, You think I could get it in my size?"
8."Happy birthday.. I bought you a mirror for your birthday as you dont look to have seen one in a while"
9."Remember you said you were open minded.. well lets play this game where you put a bag over your head and I call you Brian and take you from behind?"
10."hunny can you go to this web page"
11.(Rabs Personal Favourite) "welcome to Dumpsville... population - YOU!!"
12."The last X months have meant so much to me.. I always wanted to go slummin"
13."Your using your make up all wrong Trust me my mum worked for the body shop.. Your Meant to use it to compliment your good features but you have gone and put it on your face".
14."The voices in my head say you are going to hurt us.. and what we are going to become"
15."... It Rubs the Lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...."
16."I'm so lucky too not have one of those old fashioned girl friends who puts all the emphasis on Mynogamy"
17."I always wanted to do twins... whats your sister doing Wednesday night?"
18."You really should think about going Muslin with me Hun.. both my other wifes will be like your best friends... and the clothes are a lot cheaper as well".
19."I think we need more excitement in our love life, so I bought you a gift.. His names Rover, He's a German Shepherd"
20."I'll never forget that night we met... my dad was right, Ugly women will do anything on a first date."
21."So is it technically cheating if I had her in our bed?"
22."So what 3 things would you bring if you were stranded on a desert Island? For me it has to be You, A hooker and a knife"
23."The police may be coming round later, if they do You've never heard of me and remind them they need a warrant to search this place"
24."Hun, you don't consider the clap an STD do you?"
25."So on a scale of 1 to 10, how mad would you be at me selling your car to pay off the bill I owed a hooker?
26.Repeat the following phrase "if you loved me you'd put it in your mouth after its been up THERE"
27."Do you find domestic violence horny?? While your thinkin about it can you get my Stella from the fridge?"
28.tell her roofies are an aphrodisiac
29.Start every conversation with the phrase "You are really letting your looks slide"
30."I like my women like I like my coffee, light and weak.... Although I never kept my coffee locked in my basement"
31."Did I ever show you these photo's of me.. they are the old ones, when I was Pre Op Transexual"
32."Have you met Laurie, the midget Retard I work with? You have to meet him, you 2 have so much in common"
33. I didnt cheat, the Aliens used me to get her pregnant... thats my story and im stickin to it"
34."Someone told me ugly chicks try harder in bed... sadly no one told you though"
35. "Ok dont freak out.. but would you consider acting like you're dead next time we have sex?"
36.Start taking loads of photos of her and in all of them draw a huge circle around here eyes.

Poetry:
link
it's not you, its me
Thats what they all say
But you better come up
With a better reason
Cuz I'm not buying that crap today
If its you then whats the problem
Your telling me you don't know yourself
You can at least spare me the truth
Don't deny what you felt
If you lied from the beginning
Then your probably lying now
Be a man and stand up to me
Come on somehow
Its not you, its me
I'm not believing an ounce of this
You know after we break up
I am not what you will miss
I am not your ideal girl
And lets face it I never was
If its you and not me
Then don't tell me I'm enough
Cuz face it if I was
We wouldn't be going through with this
And if its you and not me
I'd really be what you miss!

link
It's Not You Its Me
Its not you its me
I've heard that one before
we're so ver different
need I say more
but are guys really sorry
we never even doubt
we just sulk and think
it wasn't working out
We vow never to love again
never to fall for their foolish charms
but soon we find ourselves
in another guys arms
another chance to give away
the scared key to our heart
you promise yourself this time
hes earned the key from the start
but soon his love begins to vanish
like all the other guys to come
your friends comfort and hug you
you wish you weren't so dumb
but yes oh yes
the tears to flow
and there on after
life seems very low
but hold your head high
and begin a new start
for soon another man
will come to break your heart
Author ~Brittany

link
How could you?
Why would you even dare?
Do you know how much a cared about you?
You and your issues.
'Its not you, its me!'
well guess what, sugar,it is your problem,it is your fault.
You'd rather watch baseball that go to a movie with me.
You'd rather check out some hot babe at a club, then go dancing with me.
You'd rather not talk to me, your friends'll think you're weak.
You ARE weak,
You stupid shithead.
You're weaker than me.
Instead of solving your problems,
You try to get rid of them.
You didn't even try,
Which is why,
This relationship won't work.
It's all over.
Goodbye.

blog posts:
link
Famous last words right? How many of us out there have used this sorry excuse for a) more time in deciding between two guys, b) breaking up or c) “I need to find myself, I need to know who I am.” or maybe you were on the receiving end…
link
"Its not you, Its me!"
"Lets Just be Friends!" the worse comment any person in love can recieve.
"Its not you, Its me." the second worse thing any person in love wants to hear!

Defending the line:

link
its not you its me.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
You know what? People hate to hear this, so they think its a lie. Its not want they want to hear, so its become an universal untruth, written off as "cliche."
Its not you, its me.
Its not their fault you led yourself in the wrong direction..it wasn't his fault for me. I can't blame him for being sweet, loving and caring etc. Finally when I took a good look at myself, I had fooled myself along the way into thinking that he was what I wanted...and he wasn't. So how is that his fault? Isn't it my fault? "Its not you, its me."
Perhaps some people abuse the phrase, but sometimes people actually own up to their own mistakes...whether or not you like it.

link
poetry wax
really, its not you
01 Feb 2002
i've been on the receiving end of so many
"its not you, its me" speeches
that i had started to believe that it was all bullshit
that it really was me
but now that i'm the one
who needs to give the speech
i find that for me at least, its true
its not him
its me
"i can't do this right now"
"i've got shit i'm working through"
"i'm not over him yet"
"i need time to think"
but when i tell him
he's going to think its bullshit
and he's going to think its him
and that sucks

differing opinions
link
1. Do you women who use this excuse really mean it? I mean what else could it mean but, " It's not you, it's me... *I* just dont like you anymore!"
2. It's not you, it is me" is a nice way of saying "It is you" The few girls I've "been" with used this phrase after about two weeks. To bad i didn't believe them, my self esteem might not have been damaged so much.
3. have never bought that as an excuse (even though i have used it, sadly...) why is it so difficult to say (or for some people to understand / accept) that it probably really isn't either of you-- it's just the combination of the two that is wrong? you're both probably fine, but you're just not right for each other...
4. you should just say, "thank goodness, I was about to tell you that"
5. i get the opposite"no no its not me at all... its you... all you...
6. I get it all the time. You see, I'm perfect*. Many people feel underserving. They tend to feel like they just don't measure up. It's a shame because I am very understanding and have an awfully big heart.-tuff* according to my mother
7. I have said, "it's not you ~ It's me" before and meant it. Sometimes it IS you. The guy could be perfect: good looking, funny, perverted, and chivilrous. If he doesn't "do it," for you and there's no chemistry, then I think it most certainly is NOT his fault. I never just say that one line, though. I completely explain my feelings and I don't let the guy think it is something he did, if it is my own hang-ups that caused the break-up.
8. its not you, its me.. WITH you.that's usually where the block is.like INKED says, there could be nothing wrong with you..its just that we dont belong together.. and i can only be responsible for me.as least that's how i see it.
9. The thing is,... if it is *them*, shouldn't YOU get to make that choice? If they are making the choice, it isn't them. Sure, things might not "click", but I would contend this isn't just one person, it is the pair. I think that, if this is the case, the guy/girl should have the guts to say that rather than lie under the guise of being self-deprecating and shameful. *shrug*
10. story of my life.
11. I usually just say "It's you."From the movie Casual Sex, written by Wendy Goldman and Judy Toll: "It's not you, it's me. I'm...not attracted to you."

i found this all so interesting. men and women. they really are from different planets arent they?