Wednesday, February 23, 2005

It's Yummy. Have Some.

Posted by Hello
Song for the day: THE FISHY SONG

I am domestically disabled. Its not that I can’t cook. I actually enjoy cooking. It’s the planning, shopping and cleaning up bits that I detest. I never seem to have the right ingredients (usually lacking one major ingredient) to prepare the culinary masterpieces found in all those dusty cookbooks lining my shelves. I wish I could “wing it” like those McGuyver-esque chefs who can seem to make a delicious 5 course meal out of the crap in your pantry that has been sitting there for ages wondering why you ever bought it in the first place. PICK ME it seems to shout whenever the cupboard is opened. Surely you know what I mean. Take my cupboard for example. There is a can of organic pinto beans in there from when I decided to go veg again (didn’t last long); some carb-free pasta (from when I decided to try Atkins- lasted 1 week); some Rotel tomatoes; enchilada sauce; canned peaches; pineapple tidbits; pineapple juice (from an experiment my bf tried to make something taste better, which did NOT work); instant grits (I am southern, y’all); canned tuna; chef Boyardee ravioli; hot chocolate mix; 10 packages of chicken flavored ramen noodles; and some stale irish oatmeal. If anyone knows a great recipe using these fantastic ingredients, please write me ASAP. I have friends (Crystal and Beth) who can throw a bunch of stuff into a crockpot and have it come out as a flavorful, rich stew that the whole family loves. Beth even cooks gourmet meals with ingredients like prosciutto and artichokes and makes her own energy bars (and she wonders why all the neighborhood kids flock to her house) I have no kids flocking to my house. Hell my own kids don’t want to eat there. Pooh-Bear (Alex) only wants string cheese and chicken nuggets, and Fartblossom (Lauren) only wants pizza and cheeseburgers. Sometimes I get creative and try something new like the time I roasted a chicken with lemons and rosemary (Hey I LIKED IT) but usually I stick to stuff like beef roast, pizza, burgers, fried chicken, spaghetti, lasagna, etc. Right now I am so bored with all the usual things. Last night I went to bed hungry, I could not think of ONE THING I actually wanted to eat. Tonight I think I will pick up Chinese food and later take a hot bubble bath with my US Weekly. By the way, Beth made
this for a party this past weekend and said it was YUMMY.

Getting off the topic of food, James, Lauren and I went to see Constantine Monday night. It was pretty good, although long in parts (Lauren said it was boring). I thought it was going to be more gruesome horror (they carded me to get in, hello I am 37) and less biblical stuff. It's kinda like The Matrix meets The Omen. At one point Keanu lifted his shirt to reveal a smokin’ six pack. Oh yeah. James had stayed up all night Sunday playing Full Spectrum Lawyer (actually called Full Spectrum Warrior but I misunderstood him) so he proceeded to fall asleep about 10 minutes into the movie. His head fell to one side and he started twitching. He woke up about 10 minutes later convinced he had missed something crucial. Sadly he did not. There were only about 12 people in the theater, and YAY lucky for us, this couple sat right behind us. The woman proceeded to explain in great detail what was going on in every single scene. Apparently her date was braindead. When I left the theater I wanted to scream. Heading to the car, I noticed that someone had spewed right next to the passenger door which I had to open. GRRRR. It kinda makes one long for the good ol’ drive-in days, don’t it. Not that I am old enough to remember that...honestly.