Friday, April 08, 2005

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Song for the Day: Big Balls- AC/DC

Fun Links of the Day:

This great item is for those of you who obviously have no freakin life and nothing better to do that take your cats out for a stroll.

How cool is this??

Go ahead, taunt the happy fun ball.

There is absolutely nothing entertaining or exciting to report in the wicked world of jules, but I can tell you that I am so freakin glad it is Friday. You have no idea.

Fun Stuff I Stole off the Net:

Tax filing
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin,I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."
The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work.That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute.""
No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman states,
"I'm a chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Knock knock

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote"Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

Rude Bus Driver

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."