Friday, November 12, 2004

TGIF, I guess

Well I will say that I am not feeling quite as self-empowered today. I'm actually feeling pretty rotten and miserable, and I hate it. Seems like my life just keeps going in circles instead of forward, I feel like Sisyphus...and it SUCKS!! After enduring an extremely harsh comment from the now ex-bf yesterday, I have been feeling really low. I deleted the emails we have sent each other, so I would not keep reading and re-reading them and basically torturing myself, but these particular words keep reverberating in my brain. To add insult to injury, I picked up a copy of 'He's just not that into you' at Walmart last night and turned right to a section that could have been written by me. A girl wrote in and said that her bf became miserable and dumped her every 6 months, then he would come back and they would get back together. {This has been my life for the past 2 yrs.} The writer's response: "This guy you keep taking back is the same guy who told you he never wanted to see you again....he gets miserable and wants to go find someone better, when he doesnt or he gets lonely, he comes back to you." So I guess thats what my BF was feeling, which makes me feel just peachy keen. I have to accept the fact that obviously he wasn't that into me, otherwise he would never have let me go or taken any chances with losing me. Whatever, Im going to try to quit dwelling on it. I expect this weekend will be a fun-filled one, what with all the kleenex and cvs sleep-aid. (Although I am planning an outing Saturday night to the movies to see Bridget Jones, which hopefully will cheer me up lots, I just love her haha) Maybe tonight I will have Father Ted marathon, its practically impossible to be depressed during that show, and it helped me get through one of our prior breakups.
I got a win letter from DL Blair in the mail today, saying I won a gamecube system from the Wendy's sweep...that makes 4 wins this week, which should make me happy right?? I won a Office Depot backpack Monday, a Regis & Kelly mug on Tuesday and received a phone call from the History Channel (also on Tuesday) that I had won a computer game (3rd prize) in an online sweep. So I won 4 prizes, lost a BF, and one of my cats is sick and wont quit shitting all over my house. Aint Life Grand.