Thursday, July 24, 2008

Survey ala Hazel

How many bathing suits do you own?
two I think (that fit)

What woke you up this morning?
the cats had gotten hold of my vibrator

Have you seen all six star wars movies?
of course, and I own the first three (which are really the last 3, how confusing is that)

Have you ever been given an engagement ring?
Yes Ric gave me one last night, it was bizarre and was in the shape of a rainbow of stars and they glowed in a pattern. Oh wait I dreamed that.







Who was the last person you were in a car with?
My kids

Have you ever stolen a sign from a street?
Yes I stole a billboard of David Beckham wearing underwear, its in my bedroom now.







Do you own a gun?
it only stuns people long enough for me to tie them up and throw them in the back of my SUV

When is the last time you went fishing?
I fish for compliments all the time

Are your toenails painted?
of course!

Name 3 things you drink regularly?
water, tea, the semen of a righteous man.






(one or more of the previous may be untrue)

What is the last thing that made you laugh?
the thing on Roberts blog about squirrel eggs.







Who is in the bathroom right now?
Russell Crowe. He had to go potty.







Who did you hang out with last night?
loads of celebrities, or a bunch of orange cats. Take your pick.







When are you going to bed tonight?
whenever I get done.







Have you ever shut someone's fingers in a door?
I slammed someone's penis into a drawer.






just kidding, but he deserved that

Do you know how to change a tire?
I know how but have never actually done it and I hope I never have to, because it looks like work.







Do daddy long legs freak you out?
Nope

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
slithering out of bed

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
nah I prefer the tongue one.





:P

Look to your left what do you see?
a purple Dyson and a mt dew mini fridge

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
KOALAS!!!!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Elaine

When was the last time you went swimming in a pool?
a few days ago at the hotel

What was the last reason you cried?
PMS I was mental

Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
hot animal sex with a righteous man.





How many times I gotta tell you that?

Do you drink tea?
Yes iced tea at restaurants, and hot tea before bed.







What jewelry are you wearing?
my penis necklace.







Do you clean when you’re upset?
hahaha I would think being upset a good excuse not to clean.







Whats the one thing that always gets you through a bad day?
masturbation

Where is the last place you went to go eat?
Net House Good lord its expensive.







Where is the last place you went shopping for clothes?
NY & CO

Have you ever been on television?
my arm was shown as I waved out of a truck at the 2002 Monster Jams Finals in Las Vegas.





( I won the trip and got to compete with 6 others in a key turn to win a truck, I didnt win)

Do you trust people easily?
No I do not.







Have you ever been punched by the opposite sex?
No they wouldnt dare.







10 being your best, what were you today?
4.





The ginormous zit has made me lose my confidence!

..You're at a friends to watch a movie and you get to choose the movie genre, what do you pick?
Comedy or Horror

Can you cook harder things then spaghetti, pancakes, and macaroni and cheese?
I make excellent pan seared salmon, french toast, and lasagna to name a few.







What is your favorite game system?
Wii

Are you addicted to myspace?
I thought so, but I went a week without!

Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
Not yet but theres a warrant.







What is your favorite kind of soda?
Mt Dew

What is your favorite candy bar?
Chick a stick

Do you really care about saving the planet?
I suppose

Has this year been good so far?
NO I HAVE NOT GOTTEN LAID YET

Have you ever been so drunk that you blacked out?
yes my brief college experience.







Have you ever changed your looks to impress other people and not really to make yourself happy?
Well I wore a low cut shirt when I went out with someone, and it did not produce the desired effect so from now on I say screw it. But I will still wear that shirt, I looked hot in it.







Do you change best friends a lot?
No

Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight?
No I get mellow and happy when drunk.








What kind of grades did you usually get in school?
Sickeningly good grades. straight A's. But look where it got me.








What are your plans for the future?
GETTING LAID


Who do you wanna see right now?
a righteous man walking towards me naked.