Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Blah blah blah

Oh geez the end of another 3-day weekend.

Song for the Day: Labia Baby- Drawn Together

Fun Links of the Day:
I thought this only happened to dogs? Scary.
What color lightsaber would you have? Yes I got purple. YAY!
DUI. Wow
this dude knows his alphabet!And check out his dance moves!

Local News:
Well we watched a few movies since last I posted. The Aviator was very good, Leonardo really transformed himself towards the end. I didn't realize Ava Gardner was so snobby, didn't she come from a small town in NC? Team America was warped, twisted and funny....although it was not as funny as one would have hoped. Highlights: The songs, retarded Matt Damon puppet, gratuitous puppet sex. Lowlights: Vomiting, gratuitous puppet sex. It was better than Orgazmo (not a difficult feat there) but nowhere near as good as the South Park movie.
I haven't been blogging or reading other blogs as often as I should, I just haven't been in the mood. Sorry bout that!

Fun Stuff Purloined Elsewhere:

The Letter

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those a-holes deducted $95.00 in taxes.
One Liners

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written animpressive new book. It's called, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss....the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone.
5. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
6. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,there's shipping and handling too.
7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
8. My next house will have no kitchen... just vending machines and a large trash can.
9. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
10. I'm so depressed.My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite!"
12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
13. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.