Thursday, February 21, 2008

more questions

1. Whats on your mind?
The fact that whenever I tell a man I fancy him, he tries his best to become less attractive so that I will therefore leave him alone. Apparently I really AM hideous, and destined to become the crazy old cat lady. Perhaps I should embrace this fate and pay a visit to the pet shelter after work today and grab a few more cats. I mean, christ I only have 7 at the moment.

2. Where is your biological father right now?

3. Have you ever made out on a plane?
I tried but once again my advances were rebuffed. Hey there was turbulence and in a panic the stranger next to me grabbed my right thigh. What was I supposed to think? It was the most foreplay I'd had in years.

4. Which shoe do you put on first?
Whichever one is closest.

5. What is the status of you and the last person you hugged?
She's my kid and she's MENTAL!

6. Do you get distracted easily?
What was the question? Sorry I was looking at a guy on a moped.

7. What's the last text you received say?
Andrea was informing me that I'd arrive before her at the gym.

8. What does that last text say that you sent?
I was leaving Otway heading to the gym. HOw EXCITING!

9. Have you ever kissed anyone named Amanda?

10. First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Since it was my daughter, the day she was born on 11/19/2000.

11. What was your childhood nickname?
RED. Yes weren't my schoolmates AWFULLY clever!

12. What would you change about your life right now?
There would be a hot man waiting in bed for me every evening. Ideally, a different one every night but whatever.

13. How do you feel about public displays of affection?
GET A FUCKING ROOM PEOPLE. All sorts of romantic gestures and touching between two people should be kept HIDDEN! Unless I am the one participating of course.

14. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Came up with the outline for my novel "that was my sandwich". Its almost finished.

15. Have you ever bitten your nails?

16. Do you live alone?
No two daughters and a multitude of animals.

17. Do you smoke?
Not cigs

18. Can you keep a secret?
Meh. Depends how exciting it is.

19. What was the best year of your life?
I haven't had it yet. I'll let you know.

20. Do you have any strange phobias?

21. Your favorite romantic movie is?
Sliding Doors.

22. Are you happy with your living arrangement?

23. Have you ever played Twister?
I tried naked twister once at a party but I kept injuring other people with my ginormous breasts so they made me go sit on the couch.

25. Last thing received in the mail?
Toenail clippings in a brown envelope, from a PI I hired a few months ago. Its all part of one of my diabolical plots.

26. What color is your phone?
at the moment, green with flowers, very retro 70's

27. Do you like your cellphone or do you want a new one?
Its cool

28. Do you have trust issues?
Hahahahahaha. Yes.

30. Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
No but I like to rip wallpaper off walls. I hate WALLPAPER!

31. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

32. Do you like to cuddle?
For a little while, then leave me alone please.

33. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
Yes I always end up befriending my ex's gfs perhaps because we can share the horror stories.

34. What was the last advice someone gave you?
LIFE BEGINS NOW. What a load of crap.

35. What was going through your mind during your last conversation?
the price of bananas in Guatemala

36. Have you ever hurt anyone when you were mad?
Oh hell yes. I'm a scary bitch and don't you forget it!

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive. I have a mind like a steel trap..or was it a rusty hinge?

38. Do you give out second chances too easily?
In the past, obviously.

39. What is the most important thing in any relationship?

40. Kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Depends who it is

41. Do you have a best friend?
Yes several.

42. Are you happy for your last love?
Yeah thrilled. What a bastard.

43. Do you trust people easily?
Not really.

44. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yes I wish he'd move in already

45. Ever had plans and broke them?
No my word is the law and shall not be broken. Unless I see a puppy

46. Do you think your last ex is a player?
Ha he'd like to think so, he's too fucking lame.

47. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to alot?
Yes but I wish we were more. *I've said too much*

48. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
A LOT fatter and more miserable.

49. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?

50. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Mr Froggie

51. Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Yes I had to shave rosebud last night so what better way than to throw one leg up on the kitchen counter?

52. Is it awkward when you run into ex's?
Only if they struggle.

53. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes I still do just for fun.

54. Where did you last go?
to hell, I'm back now. They were having a weenie roast.