A Pirate's Wench Looks at 40

Congrats! You're now an old fart!
The messages display.
I get notices about burial plots
in my email every day.

But life begins at 40!
My friends they do implore.
You're full of shit I counter
as I mop dog piss off the floor.

Whoever coined that stupid phrase
was obviously off track,
they were taking too much prozac
or smoking lots of crack

Or getting laid three times a day
far from the life I lead.
Monotony and dreary days
and too many mouths to feed.

Its just a number! they declare,
well isn't that just sweet.
I'd never noticed that before.
a number, you say? How neat!

You're only as old as you feel, Jules!
they continue to plead their case.
Shove your self-help propoganda, friends
before I smack you in your face.

I asked my brother what he thought
and honestly he said,
"its all downhill from here my dear
and soon you will be dead."

So I guess I'll open this email
and see how much it'll be
to burn my lifeless body
and dispose of it properly.

And I'd better see a lawyer
and start making out my will
Not that there will be very much
after they pay my bills.

I've had sunny days of youthful joy
and laughter through the night.
but when I look into the mirror now,
I give myself a fright.

I'd like to thank you all so much
for being in my life
although it sucks big time, I'm old,
and I'm surely no ones wife.

I guess I might as well live it up
who knows how long I've got,
before my life is over
and my carcass starts to rot.

So Carpe diem! and Do it Now!
are the phrases for the day;
cause lifes a bitch, and it goes too quick
and thats all I have to say.



Currently reading :
The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead
By David Shields
Release date: By 05 February, 2008

Myspace Comments:

♥laurie♥

well! you DO have a life, cause your NOT a tied down wife, life does start at 40, specially since meeting ME, jules, lordy! your brother is wrong, maybe HIS life is slack, ya'll BOTH need to burn one, and lay off the crack! you're a hot lookin mama, ya sexy ol' redhead, forget being cremated we'll hold a mirror in front of you instead. cause you're hoootttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 8:55 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	*adds Laurie to will* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:03 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥laurie♥	so what do i get? huh, huh? lord, i hope it's not more BILLS!!!!!!!!! Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:13 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	you'll have to wait and see Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 22, 2008 - Friday at 9:14 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥laurie♥	ha, ha, ha..... (laughing at "inside" joke.......) Posted by ♥laurie♥ on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 10:42 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	oh yeah. much better jill thanks ever so much. LMAO *removes jill from will* :P Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 10:33 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Caroline	“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.” You are luved! Posted by Caroline on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 11:34 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Awww. Thanks dear. Note: I've had some emails that my poem is depressing and pessimistic. Obviously you can see that the last two stanzas are, in fact, about enjoying what little time I have left. So there. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 11:37 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Neale 777	Guilty as charged Jules, i did come out with every cliche in the book . Hey but your still breathing or you were when i wrote this. Any way the life expectancy is 80' ish in developed countries so your only halfway to meeting your maker.....loads more fun to have you just need a good man to show you that 40+ women are still attractive (i think they are nicer than than young ones). so lets concentrate on the positives and ignore the negatives xxx Posted by Neale 777 on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 12:57 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Amen, Brotha! I'm taking applications now. Interested? ;) Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 23, 2008 - Saturday at 1:04 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	andrea	Okay. I truly enjoyed the poem but I have a few questions. One did my dear uncle actually say that to you and two would you really want to be someone's wifey? I love you! You are beautiful and you will always stay young because you have always been young at heart. Posted by andrea on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 12:03 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Yes he did!! HAHA. and 2, my original verse went like this: I'd like to thank you all so much for being in my life although it sucks big time, I'm old, and I have this real big knife. Honestly, it made no sense so I changed it. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 12:20 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	andrea	Quit your moaning. i am back Elaine Posted by andrea on February 24, 2008 - Sunday at 5:11 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

♥buttmuffin♥

Thanks sis you make me feel so loved and warm. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on February 25, 2008 - Monday at 10:00 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]