The Wonderfully Wicked World of Jules.
Where nothing is relevant.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Buttmuffin the Movie Part 14
Laurie .... and melissa have arrived at the hospital to see jules, who is still in some sort of coma. Dr House and his staff have been poking and prodding her for hours and misdiagnosing her over and over. They obviously have no clue. Laurie walks into jules' room to find no one with her. "WTF? Where is Matthew?" "How the hell do I know, Laurie?" says Melissa. "Oh I wasn't talking to you, I was just talking to myself." "Whatever." "Don't you take that tone with me, Missy, or I'll kick your ass." "Geez is it that time of the month already?"
Dr House walks in. "Helllllllllllllloooooooo Ladies" he says smarmily. "Umm yeah save your charm. I don't go for guys who walk with canes." "I don't walk, I limp." "Whatever, listen I've got PMS so watch your tongue, Mr Smartass. What the hell is wrong with jules?" "Hmmm is that her name? I've been calling her Jugs. Oh and its DOCTOR Smartass" "Grrr...." "We're doing all we can to figure this out, if you don't like it, go somewhere else, cause I really don't give a shit." "Why don't you go eat a f'ng sandwich and have an epiphany and fix my GDMF FRIEND!!!!!!" *Lauries eyes glow red* *Dr House backs away, real slow* "God, everyone in this hospital are IDIOTS!" says Laurie, as the vein on her forehead begins to throb.
Meanwhile, Jimmy has arrived at his restaurant just before the health inspector enters his office. He grabs Angelina in one arm, and takes Brad's leash with the other, and leads them to the closet to hide them. He opens the closet and there is Jason AKA Phil, wearing Angelina's undergarments.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE??" screams Jimmy.
"What does it bloody look like I'm doing? I'm prancing about in your closet in women's unmentionables! tra la la la la la" "You have GOT to go, how on earth did you find my office?" "Oh, stole your wallet earlier at the hospital, it had a business card... sorry. Here you go..." *hands Jimmy back his wallet* Jimmy hears the health inspector coming, and shoves Angelina, Brad and Jason into the closet and shuts the door. "Are you the manager here?" says the Inspector. "Yes, yes I am." "I need to speak with you about some hairs that I've found in the hushpuppy mix...*coughs* they appear to be pubic hairs." "Shit, not again." Jimmy shoves his wallet into his back pocket and follows the inspector out of the door.
Meanwhile, Byron has just arrived at the door of the Whitehorse when he feels the earth trembling beneath his feet. He hears the throaty, deeply evil voice of Shepherdess coming from inside, and instantly wishes he had heeded the warning Head issued. He sneaks around the back of the Whitehorse to the boiler room and starts fiddling with wires. A few moments later, he appears inside, hiding behind the bar. Belladonna sees him, and he motions to her to leave. Belladonna starts backing up slowly towards the door.
Rhoda says, "Where the feck do you think you're going sister??"
"SILENCE, GOBSHITES. I claim this establishment in the name of all rotting filth and putrid slime that ever slunk its way from the depths of hell slithering towards the bright lights of earth. This shall be the headquarters of my empire and from here I shall conquer this dominion and make all earthlings my slaves!" "You dream big, don't you?" says Belladonna. "Do you dare MOCK ME??" "Who else would I mock?" Shepherdess' eyes fill with fury as their whites turn blood red, and the air inside the Whitehorse grows colder still, as Belladonna and Rhoda begin to shiver. Suddenly Byron makes a noise from behind the bar, and Shepherdess turns to look. The minute her head is turned, Belladonna runs for the door. No sooner has she made it halfway out, than a huge explosion rocks the Whitehorse. Belladonna staggers out, her hair singed and smoke coming from her clothes. She hears a strange noise overhead, and looks up to see Matthew's couch hurtling towards her. She screams and covers her head with her hands (like that would help.)
The couch lands directly in front of her with a loud thud, and Belladonna collapses on it.
Well Ive never heard of a gob shit... that sounds really gruesome. Perhaps a strange sexual act? In that case shes not coming anywhere NEAR me even if she does fancy me in my billowing shirt. Id rather suck on one of Jimmys Beeries to be honest.