Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Morbid Survey - ala Tristram

{1} do you ever see garbage bags on the side of the highway and wonder if there are body parts inside?
OMG YES! So I pull over and make sure the trunk is closed and none have fallen out.

{2} if you ever got the chance to practice cannibalism, would you?
rofl my brain is overcome with all the sexual innuendo that this question creates!

{3} if forced to overdose on a drug, which one would you choose?
Ecstacy. It sounds nice doesnt it.


{4} shot or stabbed?
you have been shot and stabbed, Tristram? I want to hear that story.

I want to die of spontaneous combustion or just explode for no reason. Its more fun when its unplanned and unexpected.

{5} asphixiated or exanguinated?
Hmmm erotic asphyxiation sounds fun.

{6} drowned or buried alive?
Buried alive. I have a fear of like tristram said theres a chance you could escape.
Remember in Kill Bill?

{7} killed by blunt-force trauma to the head or crushed to death?
Both sound like a fun weekend at fat camp.

{8} poisoned or overdosed?
overdosed on something good

{9} killed by a flesh-melting virus or by rats or ants slowly pecking at you?
oh FFS I think I would just kill myself by pulling my head off.

{10} out of all the above choices, which one do you like best?
sex at fat camp

{11}...which is the worst way to die in your opinion?

{12} killed (by a person) intentionally, or by accident?
if someone has killed me intentionally it means I have obviously done something really bad and pissed someone off... so I pick that one.

{13} killed by a serial killer (for pleasure) or a hitman (for profit)?
Hitman....its just so mundane to be killed by a serial killer.

{14} killed in a car crash or a plane crash?
this survey is making me want to go hide in my bathtub in the fetal position

{15} killed in your home or away from home?
in my home so I can haunt the kids after

{16} killed in your sleep or while watching TV?
Someone kill me if I am watching the Disney Channel

{17} killed by someone who knew you, a stalker, or a complete stranger?
someone I know...then I know where to find them so I can haunt them


{18} what do you want done with your body when you die?
lmfao @ Tristrams answer... I want my ashes scattered on a large gathering of righteous burly scruffy men...

{19} you're forced to have your funeral at a place OTHER than a church - where would you choose?
My bathroom

{20} what song/s would you want played at your funeral?
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

{21} what outfit would you like to be buried in?
my mashmallow costume is appropo for the cremation

{22} who do you want to give your eulogy?
Steve Martin

{23} any other specifics about your funeral you'd like to share?
you're all invited. Bring a stick and some kerosene.

{24} would you rather be forgotten about when you die, or remembered but hated?
remembered but hated.. and I am on the right path.

{25} would you rather die alone, or die loved but leave a heartbroken mate
Lets face it, I will die alone and be eaten by my cats. By the time they discover the body, Buttons will weigh 50 lbs, and there will be nothing left but my head.