The Wonderfully Wicked World of Jules.
Where nothing is relevant.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Buttmuffin the Movie Part 1A
This is when I went to visit Byron in the hospital. He knew I was coming, yet when I arrived (after many hours on a plane) he was naked in his room performing ungodly acts to a poor stuffed teddy. I may never recover from witnessing this event. In this pic he was trying to explain and begging me not to leave. He claimed that it wasn't a toy bear but rather a large teddy-shaped bath loofah, and that he was simply "washing up" in preparation for my arrival. This is when Jimmy decided to kill a poor kitten by sitting on it. Luckily I arrived just in time to save the poor thing, and Jimmy told me that he was simply "keeping the kitten warm for me". Later I noticed that the kitten was wearing a tiny noose around its neck, which Jimmy claimed was a 'bohemian handcrafted collar' he bought on eBay. *rolls eyes*RIGHT! I didn't just fall off a truck, Jimmy! It was a van. This is when Rhoda pretended to faint and fell onto Matthew. How convenient. Now shes trying to get her lips as close to him as possible, but as you can see Matthew is not falling for her charms. Later that night she gets him drunk at the White Horse, and shags him senseless. He wakes up the next morning wearing her knickers, sporting a few missing patches of chest hair and unexplainable anal pain.
You loved it, Matthew, especially the knickers part! I heard they were a lacy pink pair with heart cut-outs.
Now, the little bit of inside information that I happen to have and will share with you all if you promise not to tell is that Rhoda belongs to a cult, which uses chest hair to perform secret rituals and create love potions, and she now has poor Matthew under her spell.
He will do anything she desires. And she has some truly evil plans....
Will we find out what those are in the next installment???
*Rhoda enters carrying large bag of root vegetables* Bloody Hell I was drunk last night. Anyone seen my knickers? Theyre cute and pink with cut out hearts... Im going home to make hotpot with these vegetables I found all over the place this morning, and have a nap so you dont need to kill me off.