Friday, March 07, 2008

Buttmuffin the Movie Part 1A

This is when I went to visit Byron in the hospital. He knew I was coming, yet when I arrived (after many hours on a plane) he was naked in his room performing ungodly acts to a poor stuffed teddy. I may never recover from witnessing this event. In this pic he was trying to explain and begging me not to leave. He claimed that it wasn't a toy bear but rather a large teddy-shaped bath loofah, and that he was simply "washing up" in preparation for my arrival.
This is when Jimmy decided to kill a poor kitten by sitting on it. Luckily I arrived just in time to save the poor thing, and Jimmy told me that he was simply "keeping the kitten warm for me".
Later I noticed that the kitten was wearing a tiny noose around its neck, which Jimmy claimed was a 'bohemian handcrafted collar' he bought on eBay. *rolls eyes* RIGHT! I didn't just fall off a truck, Jimmy! It was a van. This is when Rhoda pretended to faint and fell onto Matthew. How convenient. Now shes trying to get her lips as close to him as possible, but as you can see Matthew is not falling for her charms. Later that night she gets him drunk at the White Horse, and shags him senseless. He wakes up the next morning wearing her knickers, sporting a few missing patches of chest hair and unexplainable anal pain.

Myspace Comments:

Okay, here's the truth. My gerbil refused to come out, and the cat volunteered to climb in and retrieve it. Anything that cat tells you about being forced or tasered is a lie.

Posted by jimmy on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:26 PM
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The cat can't talk, Jimmy. *rolls eyes*
But he did have a mysterious noose around his neck which you claimed was a 'bohemian handcrafted collar' you bought on eBay.

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:38 PM
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Oh I think I must add that to the blog. LMAO

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:59 PM
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Matthew ©

Damn, so Rhoda told you about that night!!!!
I swear that girl has big fingers!

Posted by Matthew © on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:43 PM
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She said it was her finger?
You really were drunk!

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:47 PM
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Matthew ©

She could have at least used some lube the dirty bitch!

Posted by Matthew © on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 7:56 PM
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You loved it, Matthew, especially the knickers part! I heard they were a lacy pink pair with heart cut-outs.

Now, the little bit of inside information that I happen to have and will share with you all if you promise not to tell is that Rhoda belongs to a cult, which uses chest hair to perform secret rituals and create love potions, and she now has poor Matthew under her spell.

He will do anything she desires. And she has some truly evil plans....

Will we find out what those are in the next installment???

Posted by Belladonna on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 9:09 PM
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Hey how did Rhoda become the star of the movie???
I'll have to kill her off I think...she's stealin my thunda

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 10:19 PM
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That's my point! She's really after one of the objects of your affection--but which one?

What will she do with Matthew as her pawn to try to steal his heart (and chest hair)?

And how will the muffin thwart her evil plans and save the day? Stay tuned....

Posted by Belladonna on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 11:36 PM
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Matthew ©

She will likely kill us if she ever reads this!

Posted by Matthew © on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 10:39 PM
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i'm going to start a save the teddy bears group haha

Posted by andrea on March 7, 2008 - Friday at 8:03 PM
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Byron Getonefree

Can I JUST clarify here please.

When Jules arrived I was just in the middle of training Nurse Brenda's rather large dog for her.

It attacks cats, rabbits and stuffed animals and I'm training it to STAY!!

I should have though that much was obvious.

I was naked because it was hot on the Ward that day.


Posted by Byron Getonefree on March 8, 2008 - Saturday at 7:35 AM
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Rhoda Whitehorse

*Rhoda enters carrying large bag of root vegetables*
Bloody Hell I was drunk last night.
Anyone seen my knickers? Theyre cute and pink with cut out hearts...
Im going home to make hotpot with these vegetables I found all over the place this morning, and have a nap so you dont need to kill me off.

Hope that helps

Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on March 8, 2008 - Saturday at 11:30 AM
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Matthew ©

Please do wash them thoroughly!

Posted by Matthew © on March 8, 2008 - Saturday at 3:07 PM
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