The Wonderfully Wicked World of Jules.
Where nothing is relevant.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Buttmuffin: The Movie. Part 4
Meanwhile, Byron has finally stopped seeing 5 doorbells and has managed to ring the right one jules answers the door, as Belladonna is busy with Caroline paying for all the sausages. "JULES! THank God I've finally found you!" (liar!) "I've come to apologize about the whole teddy bear thing. I'm so sorry can you ever forgive me?""Yes of course Byron dear. We all make mistakes. And now you're finally free?? How wonderful! Come inside, we have loads of fruit and meat products, I'm sure you must be hungry."Byron heaves a sigh of relief, and feels quite pleased with himself. *I can talk my way out of anything, I'm so brilliant* he thought to himself smugly.Rhoda has arrived at Matthews place just as Matthew and Jimmy pull up. Jimmy has put on a disguise to hide from the killer cats. He darts inside quickly. Rhoda slithers around the corners of the hallway, approaching the living room. Her gaze meets the shape of Jimmy who has settled on the couch, his feet nervously tapping on the hardwood floor of Matthews flat. She glides over to Jimmy thinking him a fine man and perhaps she should forget Matthew and have a go at this chap, when suddenly Jimmy sees the black cat at his feet. Shrieking like a little girl, he climbs atop the couch and screams at Matthew "YOU HAVE A CAT?? WTF MAN THATS SO NOT COOL!" Matthew yells back "I don't have a bloody cat, what are you on about?" as Jimmy grabs a nearby table lamp and begins to wave it back and forth in the air as though it were a sword. Rhoda, sensing the mans fear and her own danger, twitches her nose and lays one paw on the couch and in a jolt they are both magically transported back to the White Horse.Byron and Jules have been reunited and are happily snuggling on the couch. Jules excuses herself as Belladonna enters, her arms heavily laden with sausages and other meats. Byron gets up to offer a hand and glances at Belladonna's ample bosom. He thinks back to the last time he slept with a woman, and it was a very very very very long time ago. He feels an urgent need and Belladonna sees the look in his eyes. But Belladonna has heard of the teddy bear incident, and she knows where Byron has been confined the past 10 yrs plus she's a bit angry because she worked real hard on that petunia bed. She politely excuses herself to the kitchen to put away the meat. Byron wanders into the bedroom where jules has sat down on the bed. Since Belladonna wasn't interested he thinks he might as well have a go at jules. Its been awhile for jules as well (understatement) and when she sees the look in Byron's eyes they waste no time in shedding their clothing and making mad passionate love which lasts for several seconds."Sorry about that dear, its been awhile"*grrr*Matthew turns round to discover his lamp, couch, and Jimmy are missing. Hmmm wtf is goin on here I wonder? That was a nice bloody couch! That bastard must have stolen it!Matthew goes to the phone and rings up someone who can help him. Not the police, they're bloody useless. He calls FOX FORCE FIVE which is a team of hot women who run errands, fight crimes, and that sort of thing. Laurie answers the phone and tells Melissa to hop in the car, they have a case.to be continued tomorrow...
I guess I have to admit that it is an extraordinary piece of meat, but then my strawberry is also quite unusual as well, so I can see their possible attractions.
Of course, Byron in that bikini is a little off-putting. Could he not have gotten in better shape before posing for that photo? Or perhaps have worn an outfit that suited his figure a bit better? Well, maybe I'm just being fussy....
You be careful dropping pens matthew... I have a carrier bag full of root vegetables here. Puurrrrrrr puuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr meooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Your sofa is a miserable colour Matthew. Can you get a new one please?