MOTHER!! (aka Who's twat is shot...thanks Jimmy)

MOTHER!! (aka Who's twat is shot...thanks Jimmy)
Current mood: awake

Figured it was time for some bloggin, gotta keep my readers happy. (well this one won't keep the men happy but whatever they can just go read the previous one again).

I had a nice mother's day. Lauren prepared breakfast and brought it to me in bed, complete with a lavender sprig. I received a cool magnetic bookmark, lip balm and lots of assorted bath and body works items *happy face* from her, and later Alex gave me some Avon products. All in all a pretty good day, Lauren even washed dishes. The kids got to fighting later on which stressed me a little but if they went one day without getting into an argument, I'd have to cart them off to the doctor because surely something was wrong with them.

For some reason, I've noticed whenever a group of women get together talking, invariably the subject turns to "HORROR STORIES OF CHILDBIRTH". We gather round like veterans sharring gory tales of war from the highly exclusive battle "CAESARIANS VS VAGINALS". We share scars and stories of never-ending labors (that would be me, 18 hours with Lauren and 19 with Alex) with each woman trying to outdo the next. "I was in labor for 75 hours and had not slept in three weeks. The baby was breech and the cord was wrapped around his neck three times!" or in the case of the Caesarians, "my incision became infected and all of the staples grew into my stomach and had to be pried out one by one." (ugh!)
It never fails though, as we are all comforting each other in our tales of misery and woe, that one woman breaks from the pack and begins to describe her 30 minute delivery in the car on the way to the hospital in which she had a few pains that she thought were indigestion and *oopsies* the baby just slid right out! *Yes I am soooooo happy for you, bitch! I bet your vagina is a huge cavernous opening that has ample parking*
This same woman goes on to "tsk tsk" those who chose to bottle feed, and begins to describe how she milked a cow on her organic farm and pureed her own vegetables and made her own yogurt, all with baby firmly attached to breast in a snuggle sack. Meanwhile the others and I wait until she leaves to mock her and resume our horror stories.

Lauren was a very independent child, and freakishly strong. When just a baby, I discovered that she could not only hang from the handicap bar on our office door, she could do pull-ups on it. At age 3, it took 7 people (including me) to restrain her so that the doctor could look inside her ears. He told me "you don't need to worry about anyone kidnapping this child." I enrolled her in gymnastics at 5, where she showed great promise on the uneven bars. Most of the other children could not support their own bodies yet Lauren swung on them using her tiny little arms that had huge bulging biceps (I kid you not). I've never seen a 5 yr old with bulging biceps before, but find it rather ironic considering that I was forced to endure Popeye cartoons during much of my 18 hour labor, owing to the fact that my husband had passed out in the recliner clutching the remote as if he were Indiana Jones and it were the Holy Grail. To this day, if she tightens a lid on a jar of pickles or a soft drink, it takes three other people *or her* to unscrew the lid. There are lots of jars of pickles that I sadly cannot enjoy.

I won't bore my readers with my horror stories, since they really weren't that horrible, just long and boring and always ending with a drip of pitocin to move things along and then BAM it was over and I was left shivering and scared with a red-faced, wrinkled-up little girl, my mind filled with all the wonderous possibilities of molding and scarring this child that lay before me.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.

PS my hand fell asleep this morning, which I discovered as the alarm went off. In trying to hit the snooze button with said limp and lifeless appendage, I knocked everything off my nightstand including my full glass of water. Yay!
PPS then the dogs pissed in the hallway.
PPPS Happy Hour Tonight!


myspace comments:

jimmy	Poor thing...he had to sleep in a recliner? Posted by jimmy on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 8:48 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Yes. He did finally wake up when I got to the point where my voice turned into a deep guttural demonic tone (ala exorcist) and I said, "change the fucking channel or I will kill you with my bare hands." Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 9:32 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Im just ignoring my washing macine. I think it could be leaking but I cant deal with that now, i need clean clothes, not a wet floor. So if I hide here and ignore it it will be ok. Birth? I had back to back contractions... no gaps between them. I howled like a banshee. Best bit was the gas and air... I was high as a kite breathing that stuff with no gaps to get any real air. The nurse said she had never seen anyone laugh their way through contractions before. I was laughing hysterically until the true reality of a perviously undiagnosed 10 lb baby became clear. He was born in 3 hours though, start to finish. My daughter was 9lb 10 in 5 hours... exactly the same no let up, back to back. I think when youve been through that kind of pain/horror/experience you have a need to re-live it and talk about it. So youve done it now... let the birth stories commence. Oh... and by the way... if you think I must have a vagina like a clown's pocket after two HUGE babies... all I can say is... having plenty of orgasms certainly tones a girl up where its needed ;-) Well... I knew what you were thinking. xx Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 8:54 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Huge babies? You have my sympathies. Oh and I am sure your vagina is a tight as a drum...but thanks for sharing. Mine is pretty firm too, after all I do my nightly 10,000 kegels and walnut-cracking exercises. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 9:37 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Baz	It's true. We all lapse into these long moans about labour. I try to block out the entire event(s) but I stil tend to join in (48 hours, 22 hours) (9.4/10.2) The dead hand things is not fun. We got a new mattress last year and it doesn't seem to happen anymore but BTDT! Posted by Baz on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 9:16 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Geez you and Rhoda with the huge babies! Mine were around 7 lbs each. 48 hours? ugh! poor thing. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 9:40 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	See this is just the sort the thing I wanted to start my Girls blog group for. You know, all the talk the boys dont want to hear about... Obviously to discuss the boys themselves too. Blog groups are weird. Theyre advertised publicly somewhere I think. All these people started wanting to join. Unsuitable young women with tattoos. *hmph*. Then I couldnt work out how to post a blog on the effing blog group page. Not sure how to do it. *RHODA HAS BLONDE MOMENT AND RETIRES GRACEFULLY* Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:05 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I don't understand that whole blog group thing either. We could do a 'preferred' list but I don't quite like the idea of that, do you? I know that when I go to one of my friends blogs and it says "this blog may be viewed by the preferred list only" I feel quite snubbed and left out, and then I begin to wonder if the blog is, in fact, about me. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:14 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Baz	I guess one could start up a new profile and blog a bit more privately from there...Other people could contribute blogs too. Then one would have control over who is added as a friend...just an idea. Posted by Baz on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:26 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Thats a good idea. I dont like preffered lists either. it does make me feel left out and bitched about. We must fine tune this idea and take it on. What shall we call it? Girl power blogs Femanine Fancies A womans Touch The vagina diaries ideas girls please. Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:06 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	If we really want to keep the men out, we should name it "Instruction Manual" Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:19 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	OOOH I just thought... if we all know the log in details, any of us can blog on there... Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:07 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	exactly. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:19 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	That would work. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:31 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Count me in, may get a chance to get a word in edges ways on a girls blog !!!!!!!!!! :D Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 11:21 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Chickwah	Just to join in on the horror story theme - my first was 9lbs 6ozs and the labour lasted 37.5 hours (and made my eyes water). And the second (five years later) weighed 8lbs 7ozs and the labour lasted 4.75 hours (and also made my eyes water)! I've decided not to have any more! (That was a joke btw) I can confirm the earlier remark about the orgasms toning up the parts other exercises just can't reach ;-) Posted by Chickwah on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:50 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Just wondering, do self-induced orgasms tone up things as well? cause if so I am pretty happy. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:53 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Jules... men give us one orgasm and heave a sigh of relief. One orgasm isnt going to tone anything. Its the hundreds we give to ourselves (in one day) that do all the toning. Mines like an athletic vagina now... it could take part in the Olympic ping pong competition all by itself. Sometimes I have to run to keep up with my vagina as it heads off down the street at a pace. Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:18 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Hmm well in that case I say we have a race! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:34 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Youre on. Vagina racing at dawn. Better make sure shes rested then Jules. Ready steady.... GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 6:28 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I think my vagina overslept. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 7:42 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:52 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 10:59 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	i never had any problems with both my sons being born....lol Tom was a 45 min labour....... Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:31 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jas	Hmmm, Jas wonders if she should join in with her 7hr, then 1hr 45min, then 1hr and another 1hr labour stories. Would Jules really want to know that Rich was born so quick that there was no one there to catch him and it was only the umbilical cord that kept him from shooting off the bed, or that I had Becky within 10 mins of reaching the hospital? No, best not. Think I'll keep these things to myself. But, could regale her with the ramifications of 4 children, not enough pelvic floor exercises and being careful how you cough ............................................. Posted by Jas on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:46 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	haha bitch. *cough cough* I'll send you some incontinence pads in the post. :-) Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:48 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I'm happy for you. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:38 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Lorraine	Lauren sounds like a great girl, you are a very lucky Mummy. I can never open jars or bottles without one of those special 'help aids' for old people that you see advertised in the Sunday Supplements. My son weighed 6lb, my eldest daughter weighed 6.12lb and my youngest daughter weighed a whopping 9.2lb! BTW I am not very tall, if fact I'm very 'ickle'. I could sum it up as giving birth to a watermelon after an orange and a grapefruit-x- Posted by Lorraine on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:46 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Oh Lauren has a bad side trust me. If I ever published photos of her bedroom, *aka the Swirling Vortex of Doom* you'd know what I refer to. But I couldn't do that to her, or my readers for that matter. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:51 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	The only thing that works for me is running the lid under hot water for a minute or so. wow that last one was a big 'un! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:50 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Julie ~ Fan of DMB	Oooh! I like it here:) My first had such a big head that he paved the way for a virtual free-fall for his bro. They both came out the way nature intended and for that I am forever thankful! I do enjoy watching the faces of men when the real horror stories are told.. call me sadistic:D Posted by Julie ~ Fan of DMB on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:52 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Welcome new friend!! LMFAO @ free fall. I hope he grew into his head? Funnily enough whenever the stories are being told, the men seem to suddenly have to go to toilet. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 11:55 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Chickwah	How very true! In fact, my first husband was supposed to be with me for the birth but with it all taking so long, bless him, he got ever so tired and was sleeping very peacefully in the waiting room when I finally had the forceps delivery at 4:20am. Bitter, moi? Posted by Chickwah on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:01 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Poor tired fellow. GRRR Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:21 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Belladonna	Am I the only c-section? They pumped me so full of drugs, I said, "When are you going to start cutting?" And they almost had him out already. Then plenty of drugs afterward, too. That's the way to have a baby, I think. Since I never had a baby vaginally, I think that makes me a virgin of sorts. LOL It's very common in the South, actually, to be a self-rejuvenating virgin. Ever read that hilarious book, "Southern Ladies and Gentlemen"? Posted by Belladonna on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:04 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Me too Donna, a fellow vagina birth virgin lol !! Written more about it further down ..... Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:34 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I don't know if its the best way but I'm sure it was less painful to sit down after. How long will it take before I am a virgin again? Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:23 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Jason being the only man MAN enough to comment on here I notice... OOps no.... Jimmys up there too but that was 'before'... Donna - with 3 husbands Im afraid you cant do the virgin thing anymore. 3 husbands makes you exempt from virginity. ;-) Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:13 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Belladonna	That's just the point, Rhoda! You have to understand the "Southern" logic of it. If it happened when you're drunk, it doesn't count. (Plenty of those in college) If it happened in another state, it doesn't count. (Well, there've been a few of those as well.) If you didn't really want to do it, it doesn't count. (OMG, too many of those to count.) If you got pregnant and had to take care of children, which is hard work and thus penance for having had sex, it doesn't count. (See? By Southern logic, we're all self-rejuvenating virgins.) And three husbands--well, that's definitely both hard work and a ridiculous amount of penance--so they cancel out all the sex, so I am such a virgin, I am practically a 12-year-old now! Posted by Belladonna on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:16 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	jimmy	12 years old? In the South, that makes you marrying age...again! It's just one big, vicious cycle for you isn't it, Donna :P Posted by jimmy on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 12:13 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Oh I see Donna. Being a Northern woman I didnt get the Southern logic. Being Northern... having loads of sex with lots of different people just means youre a slapper. LOL. Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:21 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Belladonna	Or a college student! ;) Posted by Belladonna on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 7:08 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	jimmy	Having never given birth, or being the cause of a birth( that I know of), I'm not sure what I could add to this lovely 'whose twat is shot' discussion. But I am enjoying reading about all of yall's agonies :) Maybe now is a good time to remind you men also don't have periods? Posted by jimmy on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:24 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	what about feeling sorry for us men who have to put with all the moaning about aches and pains and salt water baths after the birth.... i should be a saint...lmao Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:05 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Who's twat is shot. OMG I am renaming the blog immediately. Feel free to post your own blog about your penis and its present condition. I'm sure Jason will respond at least. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:28 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	i wouldn't want to comment and spoil the mental image you have of jimmys penis, you still need your stimulation every night for your self relief Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:07 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	thanks jason Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:35 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	LNFNGAOOOOO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 4:06 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	jimmy	You're welcome. And I don't think I wanna get into a one on one reply war with Jason about my penis. My penis just isn't up to it. Posted by jimmy on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:37 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

♥buttmuffin♥

But how do you know unless we compare them side by side? *pics please!* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:38 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

jimmy	Um...Jason first. I'm not quite ready. *starts stretching penis like a rubber band* Posted by jimmy on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:45 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Oh dear I have quite a mental image now. *lies down with cold rag* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:58 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Oh dear Jason's ego was quite large enough prior to your posting this. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:23 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Exactly *tut*, I was going to say something really horrible now but he'll sulk LOL !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 2:25 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tracy	Thought about catching mine as they flew out of me and onto the ground while I was swinging on my porchswing...the muddled cries kinda clued me in. Posted by Tracy on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 12:51 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I'm sure you picked them up and washed them off eventually. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:24 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Ok, I'll join in too but you're going to hate me LOL !! I didn't even have a labour, Max was 2 weeks overdue and been so short the doctors wouldn't let me have a natural birth 2 weeks over so I had a 'planned' C-Section. Got to hospital at 8am and he came out (can I say born) at 10:08 am and I still have everything in tact :). In hindsight yes the C-Section was alot easier for the birth but the recovery was horrible, staples in my stomach, 5 days in hospital and 6 weeks of no driving or anything strenuous and in a way I feel like I would have liked a natural birth, but he was healthy which was the main thing. What is this weird thing of us having to share our birthing experiences, I shall never know !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:31 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Excuse spelling mistakes and missed out words, have strained my thumb and can't type properly. I'll leave you to guess how lol !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:00 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I can't even imagine what kind of sexual hijinks you and jason have got up to that resulted in a strained thumb. *raises eyebrow* Is there anything of Jason's that is strained as well? *confused face* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:48 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	yes i strain my sperm and sell it on ebay to lesbian couples...lol Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:09 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Thats not even funny!!! It had nothing to do with Jason, just practising my Tae-Kwon-Do for when I see him next :) Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:21 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	well the way you were hinting at it, it sounded like something dirty! *all disappointed* wait are you going to kick Jasons arse? *gets happy once more* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:37 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Sorry to spoil it lol !! But yes I am going to kick Jasons arse especially after the 'putting up with the moaning' comment on here !!!! LOL Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 2:25 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	haha yipppeeeeee Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 7:43 AM [Remove]

	♥buttmuffin♥	How can I hate someone who went TWO WEEKS over their due date??? You have my sympathies there. I was one week over with both, and in the case of Alex, I was exactly like Rachel on Friends when she was overdue with Emma. "Dont anger it!!" Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:41 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	LOL I LOVE that episode. I must admit to being one of those annoying woman who loved being pregnant but I was ready for him to come out at that point !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 1:58 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	That is SO brilliant! Both mine were overdue. Maybe thats why they were so BIG. Edward was really really hairy too. Masses of thick long black hair and side burns and hair on his back. he had to go to intensive care when he was born because he had a chest infection. There were all these prem babies in incubators and he was at the end of the row. So I walked past these fragile little bablies as big as my hand... and mine was the HUGE HAIRY baby that almost filled the incubator and his nappies didnt fit him he was so big. If I can get near a scanner I will post a pic of him. *sigh* iused to walk him up and down the ward just so people would say omg look at that huge hairy baby! xx Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:12 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	That sounds truly frightening. If I had a very very hairy boy I would have been tempted to shave him and look for three 6's. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:18 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Chickwah	Mmmmm that going late thing was not fun! My first was 16 days late and my second was 11 days over and then I begged to be induced as I didn't want another whopper that wouldn't come out! Looking forward to the pics of Jimmy's and Jasons bits (*polishes glasses and sits nearer to the screen*) Posted by Chickwah on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 4:35 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I think you may need to get even closer to the screen to see lil jimmy (at least thats what he says but satisfied customers of his restaurant tell me otherwise) and as for Jason's I have no clue but Tina has a strained thumb and she is being vague on what caused it. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 4:39 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Not from that LOL !!! Thats it Chickwah put your glasses on, hope they're high strength lmao !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 1:30 PM [Remove]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Both of my babies were COMPLETELY bald and stayed that way for years. I think they were about 3 before they finally started getting real hair instead of just a little peach fuzz. The peach fuzz really did feel so good though. I loved rubbing my face on it and kissing the tops of their little heads. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:37 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I loved it up until mid-October (she was due nov 13) that is when she began pressing on a nerve in my back. Then I turned into the eVil bitch from hell. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:02 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Here he is in the incuator at one day old... and here he is a 4 weeks... Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:33 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Belladonna	Oh, he's so cute! But at four weeks, he already looks like a toddler! Wow, he really was overdue.... Posted by Belladonna on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:20 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	wow he really does have sideburns! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:34 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Yup... I gave birth to Elvis... Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:38 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Just to make you eyes water... this is my sister Victoria, holding him the day he was born... just a few hours old. Look at the size of his head! Medal please... Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:46 PM [Remove]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I hereby present Rhoda with the Buttmuffin Medal of Valor for giving birth to a ginormous hairy baby. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:53 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	Thank you. I am touched. Now you know why I say NEVER AGAIN!!!xx Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 2:57 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Hmmm and I wanted a natural vaginal birth ........ after that, no thanks. You deserve more than a medal, he is really cute though :) Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:02 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Chilli	Just thought this would help everybody keep things in perspective. In this pic you can clearly see a scar between my knuckles, I know .. and yes, it really really hurt. So you can all count your blessings now. Anyway, gotta go .. need the toilet suddenly. Posted by Chilli on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:24 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Belladonna	Is that where your wife bit you while she was in labor? Or did you get that conceiving your child, sweetie? Posted by Belladonna on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:23 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	Perhaps it was a fisting incident that caused it!!! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:40 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Chilli	BD & Butt' (reminds me of a certain cartoon couple, but I digress) : none of the above. You know how annoying those women with prams are that think they have the right of way over other pedestrians just by virtue of having reproduced, well .. as I smashed my fist into her face her spectacles splintered and a piece of glass caught me. I was quite shocked at the time I can tell you, as luck would have it though the baby was wearing a bib, soaked the blood up a treat. I won't pretend it's been easy for me, that scar will be there forever to remind me, but with the support of my family and friends such as yourselves each day gets a little better :) Posted by Chilli on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 1:50 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	your tough guy act does not fool me. :P Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 1:54 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	LMFNGAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:25 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep thats put it in perspective for us girlies, thanks ! Posted by Tina Beana on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 3:31 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	my little man Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:20 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	I am pretty sure Rhodas big hairy baby could kick your little tiny bald baby's ass. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:41 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	PMSL !!!!! Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 3:02 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	ROFL my head off @jules.....!!!! Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:53 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	you may get your kicks by running fight clubs for babies but not for me thanks....lol my boy is now a bruiser, those were the peaceful well behaved days... Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:44 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Rhoda Whitehorse	AWWW. Bless him and his big stripy pyjamas just like his Dads. Posted by Rhoda Whitehorse on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:24 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	if he was like his dad he would be naked in bed.... Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:42 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	♥buttmuffin♥	ewwwwwwwwwww probably wearing a plaid bow tie too Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:49 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Tina Beana	Hmmm what an image !!!! Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 2:29 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	you're just jealous cos my boy is a looker like his dad...lol Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:51 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Jason AKA Phil	Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:47 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

♥buttmuffin♥

Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 14, 2008 - Wednesday at 5:53 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] Tina Beana LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL thats sooooooooooo funny !!! :D Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 2:28 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ Jason doesn't seem to think so, he's threated to suspend me from his friends list. Geez he can dish it out though! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 7:45 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] Tina Beana Sorry my message didn't go in the right place, when'd he do that ?? He's just sulking as usual lol !! Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 11:23 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ He has bumped me down to the bottom position on his friends list.... Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 11:33 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] Jason AKA Phil how sad that you checked!!!!!! i am just cooking up my revenge, when i get more time i will return!!!!!! be warned...... Posted by Jason AKA Phil on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 7:31 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ Oh I just noticed it when I went to your page to get more photos of you to make posters of. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 7:48 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] Tina Beana Oh yeh I can see, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it he's ego's just bruised !!!! Let him sulk it out lol. Posted by Tina Beana on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 1:26 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] Kevin As with anything you post on your blog this was hilarious!You are a great entertainer.This was just as funny as Pedro's ordeal a couple months back Posted by Kevin on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 10:00 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ Aww thank you Kevin! Its so great to see you posting a comment! :-) There is more to come with Pedro, BTW. haha his story has not yet been told. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 10:02 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] Chickwah Errrrrrm, I'm getting kinda tired from polishing my glasses and my bum is becoming numb here, guys, so when do we get to see these photos of your intimate bits? Posted by Chickwah on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 3:22 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ Jason is mad at me, so I doubt it will be anytime soon. Jimmy will come up with some excuse like his "camera isn't working" or his penis "won't come out of hiding". Guess I will have to go hide in the bushes and wait for him to pee with my camera and zoom lens at the ready. Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 4:15 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] jimmy Well, you're close.... Posted by jimmy on May 15, 2008 - Thursday at 9:47 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] Chickwah Awwwww, Jimmy, how did that get broken? And Jules, what have you done/said to Jason to stop him coming out to play? Posted by Chickwah on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 1:22 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ Jimmy has a broken penis and Jason has a bruised ego. What a pair. Jimmy I tried to tell you not to stretch it TOO much look what you've done now! Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 7:52 AM [Remove] [Reply to this] jimmy Let this be a lesson to all you men out there: never stretch your penis while you're angry. I'd almost be happy to have a broken penis, as long as it was that big. The curve may even be able to help me find the legendary g-spot I've heard so much about. Posted by jimmy on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 6:54 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] ♥buttmuffin♥ *raises eyebrow* Posted by ♥buttmuffin♥ on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 8:06 PM [Remove] [Reply to this] jimmy *SLAPS HAND* Stop raising my eyebrow! Posted by jimmy on May 16, 2008 - Friday at 11:00 PM [Remove] Chickwah One last word on the subject of childbirth.................. Posted by Chickwah on May 17, 2008 - Saturday at 10:12 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]